Changing Days, Changing Ways

First Look

2011-07-07T16:21:00.000-05:00

So, here it is, my dream home! Pleeeease try to see past the lanterns (both post and otherwise), the landscaping, the humongous dead pine tree in the front and the newly developed brown fungus on our grass, oh and the fact that I didn't "style" anything, hence the one no-curtain-covered window in the front center. :) What I have done is paint the front door the most beautiful Benjamin Moore Ruby Red color in high gloss (it used to be baby blue with a lion's head knocker). I've got BIG ideas for this house and will be sharing my "style sheets" very soon. Stay tuned for some interior pics but be forewarned; there will be a similar not-quite-there quality about those photos as well.

Mitzy

2011-07-06T14:25:00.000-05:00

This last year has brought a lot of change into our sweet Madeline's world. It has all been positive changes but to a now 3 year old, I assume it can be overwhelming to have new baby brothers, move twice and start going to "school". I think that through change is when you really get to know your children. Instead of this being about Madeline's milestones, I really just want to write a post about how much I love my sweet daughter and all that I want for her. I never knew the immense love I could feel for another person until I had children. I can so vividly remember holding her right after giving birth, looking into her eyes and feeling so much responsibility for this beautiful bundle. I was scared of parenting, and still am at times, the pressure is high, but overall the love I feel for my children is just so huge that one moves through the fear and does whatever they can to protect and guide. The mere thought of them being hurt emotionally is completely heartbreaking to me and literally moves me to tears. The thought of them not being in my life is unfathomable...they make my life, well worth it all. I know this may be very deep, but that is just honestly how I feel.

It seems lately that Madeline has gotten so big. I find myself feeling that time is moving too quickly, I want her to stay little, I want her to never be hurt, never experience being made fun of, never feel left out by others, never feel insecure...I wish I could keep her emotionally safe forever! I want her to always enjoy life as she does now, play make believe, climb and run and be in the moment, completely free from worry. As she is getting older and experiencing the world on her own more, I am beginning the slow process of letting go as all parents must do. We are given these beautiful people, that we love more than anything, yet the hardest part of the job, the letting go part, starts as young as 3 years old. It seems so, well, unfair. I guess the part that brings me back to center is the fact that truly my job as a parent is not to need my children, but to rather help them. You give, give, give from the moment they are born. It begins with their basic needs: food, cleanliness, comfort. But it progresses into so much more, and I'm learning now, and so much harder. It is my job as a parent to teach my children right from wrong, how to treat others, manners, the basics of life and how navigate within it on life's terms. THAT is truly my job, it can just sometimes get muddied by all of the immense LOVE. I found something lately that I feel so beautifully sums up what I want to teach my children. I reproduced it and will be framing it to set on Madeline's dresser, a daily reminder of sorts. A quote by Emerson:

To me, this says, enjoy life, always be truthful and treat others as you would want to be treated. Those three thoughts encompass much of what I want for my children, and really, what I want for myself.

Isaac's & Reed's First Birthday!

2011-07-06T13:31:00.001-05:00

This post is awfully overdue, yes, I know.

"The boys"/"The brothers" turned 1 on March 22nd!!! Wow, what a year. Leading up to this momentous occasion, people would constantly say to me, "Doesn't it feel like such a milestone, not just for them, but for you and Jake?" At the time they said it, it didn't really sink in but ON the day of, yes, it was HUGE for me. It was the end of a very trying and testing year for myself, my marriage and frankly my ability to function on little or no sleep. :) It WAS truly a milestone. Having multiples is REALLY hard, there I said it. Usually I try to act real tough and be all positive and stuff, throwing around the following phrases: "it is what it is", "everything happens for a reason", "things are getting so much easier". I do truly believe in all of those sentiments, I do, but that's just not what this post is about. This post is about how all of the VERY difficult and trying times were all totally worth it. Isaac and Reed are, well frankly, they're AWESOME! Cute, yes. Smart, uh yes, of course. Blessings in my life, definitely. :)

Because I am posting this so late, it's kind of difficult for me to remember where they were with everything at 12 months, so I'll save the "milestone" info for a future, more current post. For now I'll leave you with some photos from their birthday party. It was a VERY small party, seriously thrown together at the last minute (sent out the invites a week before type of last minute). I had decided that I would take it easy and barely do any decorating, but of course in true Seana style, I had to last minute whip something up. I designed a few labels for cupcakes (cupcakes I homemade, thank you very much), cut up some crappy fabric for banners and such annnnnnd VOILA, it turned out, well, decent. It didn't really matter, what mattered was those two adorable fellas that make me smile, laugh and want to kiss and hug them constantly. Happy First Birthday Isaac & Reed!!! -Mommy, Daddy and Sissy love you both VERY MUCH!

Simply ridiculous!

2011-05-13T14:31:00.000-05:00

It has just been ridiculously too long since I posted last, I mean truly ridiculous. There has been SO much going on lately! The boys turned 1 years old, ummm back in March that is. They are walking, talking, climbing, laughing and just generally reeking complete havoc! I plan on doing separate posts for their milestones and there 1st birthday party, I want those posts for their blog books. Madeline, oh my gosh she is getting so big, she is becoming a lot less 2 and a lot more 3, if that makes sense, I also plan a post dedicated completely to her for her blog book! I hate to get behind on their updates because I really did start this for them, as their baby books. Of course it has morphed into my own personal outlet as well :).

And some really BIG news that I am so excited about I can barely control my self....we bought a house, my DREAM house, seriously!!! I can't wait to post photos as we transform it. We closed on it on May 5th and the wood floor refinishing is being wrapped up today. We plan to move on May 23rd and then demo the kitchen and completely redo it right after we move in, so look for some before and afters, I love before and afters, don't you?!

Soooooo, lots of great stuff going on. I really hope y'all are all still out there, please comment that you are...I have style sheets for every room in our new house coming out my ears, can't wait to share!

Yay!

2011-01-28T14:31:00.001-06:00

I'm really excited about an online painting class I'm starting this Monday. It's a five week class and I plan to update my progress on my illustration blog, http://seanastrawn.blogspot.com, and I'd love for any of you to follow along as I hopefully learn my way. I also think it will help me with one of my "things to remember in 2011": Draw without the pressure of success.

A few favorites

2011-01-27T16:12:00.006-06:00

Madeline has always loved books. When she was very young she enjoyed sitting and listening intently to books, in fact it's still her favorite thing to do. But now she doesn't just like to listen to books, she also really enjoys sitting on her bed and flipping through her books. I think we all have those books from childhood that evoke such happy memories and thoughts of being a kid, highlighting those moments of discovery that are so prevalent in the life of a child. With that in mind, I wanted to document some of Madeline's current favorites. I thought it would be a fun thing for her to look back on in the future so she can remember those moments she experienced herself. I'd like to try and keep up with this every so often, as new books are always being discovered and introduced to us. I also thought this might be a good way for us to share with you our favorites and hope you will share your favorites in the comments so that we can check them out ourselves. This list are just a few of our favorites as it was very hard to narrow it down, we are constantly finding new ones we love. We have been checking out a lot from our AWESOME library and some of these listed below were found that way and then were bought deeming them keepers for sure, we own all of these that are listed. Keep in mind, these are all probably 3-6 year old age range. We had our favorite baby books as well that the boys are now enjoying, if anyone is interested I'd love to share some of those favorites as well...the boys just now seem to be getting interested in books, I've been trying for a very long while to get them interested to no avail, they tended to prefer movement to sitting and listening, but they are now finally starting to enjoy them, yay!!

Best Word Book Ever, Richard Scarry


Best First Book Ever, Richard Scarry

My sister has introduced me to a lot of kid's books/authors that are great! She introduced us to these Richard Scarry books and Madeline LOVES them. There is so much to look at and learn about in these books. I know Richard Scarry books were around when I was a kid and he has written/illustrated A LOT more other than just these two but I really love his large format books and these two are Madeline's current favorites.

Madeline, Ludwig Bemelmans

This was of course a must have for my very own Madeline. Though it was originally purchased as a memento, the stories have proven to be timeless and the main character is, for the most part and barring the one story where she runs off with the circus gypsies and doesn't bathe (yeah, I know), a great role model. The French Madeline is a tough little girl with A LOT of gumption and we love following along on her adventures. Our Madeline has a couple French Madeline dolls and several of the other books in the Madeline series, though this first one is by far her favorite. She enjoys reciting along with me the beginning of every book, "In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines..."

Iggy Peck, Architect, Andrea Beaty

Now this book is probably MY favorite book out of all these listed and Madeline loves it too! I had read about it online so we first checked it out of the library, we loved it so much that Santa was kind enough to bring it to Madeline for Christmas. The illustrations are amazing and the story is perfection. It's all about a boy with wonderful talent and the realization of how important it is to foster the interests of our young ones. There is a page in the book that has illustrations of Iggy Peck and all his classmates and there is one little girl that looks a bit like Madeline. I said, "Look Madeline, she looks like you." Madeline said, "No, IIIII'M Iggy Peck." That's my girl! :)

Just Shopping With Mom, Mercer Mayer

This is another story series that was introduced to us by my sister, the Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer. This one, Just Shopping With Mom, is Madeline's current favorite. I can certainly relate to it. :) Mercer Mayer, much like Richard Scarry, is not a new author and he has written many other books but it's these Little Critter books that we love. There are many titles covering lots of subjects from new babies to bedtime and they are so good at portraying the "bad" behavior of a child without making it out to be okay. It's such a great way to teach lessons that are comfortable for a kid to understand. They are also super inexpensive, Santa put a couple in Madeline's stocking this year.

Olivia Saves The Circus, Ian Falconer

We are new to the Olivia books. They actually came on to my radar because of the television show (VERY catchy theme song, we ALL sing it and dance when it comes on t.v.). We loved the little girl pig with two little brothers and of course it all originated with the books so Madeline received a couple of the Olivia books (Olivia Saves The Circus & Olivia Forms A Band) for Christmas and they are really cool books. I think these are great books for building confidence in girls especially. Olivia is a pig with A LOT of confidence and man oh man she has an imagination, much like someone else I know...

Knuffle Bunny, Mo Willems

Knuffle Bunny is a wonderfully illustrated book with a surprise ending that Madeline loves! Oops, I misspoke, we don't actually own this book, we've just checked it out from the library. We also checked out Knuffle Bunny Too, a kind of sequel book to Knuffle Bunny, and I gotta tell you, not nearly as good as the first one. I think that's why I didn't get it yet, I wanted to check out the second one to see if it was maybe more age specific to Madeline, anyway, Knuffle Bunny (the original) is great and Madeline adores it, we WILL be adding it to our library, maybe the Easter Bunny would be interested in helping us out with that.

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, Mo Willems

Another Mo Willems book and another one that my sister introduced us to, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus is a must-have. This book is hilarious and SO MUCH fun to read to your kids, they will find it very entertaining. Madeline received this as a gift from my sister when she turned one and has liked it ever since; it has definitely grown with her.

The Incredible Book Eating Boy, Oliver Jeffers

Now this one, my second favorite to Iggy Peck, Architect. Much like all of Oliver Jeffers books, this one is fantastic! We have read his other books and they are VERY good so I recommend checking them out as well, but this one? This one is Madeline's favorite. It all comes around full circle and shares a really great lesson of how putting in the work pays off and, in the end, is more rewarding than taking the easy route.

An Awesome Book of Thanks!, Dallas Clayton

Purchasing this book was a big gamble on my part. I had read about it online and it's premise was just beautifully simple to me. It's about gratitude, something that has always helped me in my life and something I'd like to instill in my kids. Well, Madeline really likes the book and it has been a recent frequent bedtime request. It has a wonderful premise and I am now interested in checking out another Dallas Clayton book, An Awesome Book!.

This is Hong Kong, Miroslav Sasek

Jake and I bought this book in Hong Kong when Madeline was still growing in my belly. I was on my last work trip to China before she was born and Jake met me in Hong Kong for some vacation time at the end. This book has provided SO MUCH entertainment! It really was/is way too advanced, if it were to be read cover to cover, for Madeline when we were first reading it to her at 1 year old and it's probably still too advanced but I have skipped around, left certain things out, pointed out things I thought she'd like etc. As she has gotten older we can talk in more detail and actually read more of the book but I foresee this book continuing to re-invent itself and seriously end up being a REAL geography lesson one day. It's a keeper and I'd definitely like to check out some of the other This Is.. books very soon.

The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein

Where The Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak

And these two are just classics. We bought The Giving Tree for Madeline the very day we found out she was going to be a girl. I had a gift card to Macy's so we bought some girl clothes and this book. She has actually really liked this book for a very long time and this is one of those that I have very fond memories of from my own childhood. Madeline received Where the Wild Things Are on her second Christmas, this is another book I really remember from childhood, I remember going on a field trip in elementary school to see the play version of this performed in New York City. It was magical. This book is SO much fun to read out loud, you can gnash your terrible teeth and roll your terrible eyes and show your terrible claws right along with the wild things. Madeline went through stages with these two books were they were the book dujour for a month. Now she's not nearly as obsessed with them but goes back to them as old standbys that she can always count on enjoying, that's what makes them classics I suppose.

I hope you can check out some of Madeline's favorite books if you haven't already and remember...
PLEEEEEEEEASE TELL ME SOME BOOKS YOUR KIDS LOVE AND RECOMMEND IN THE COMMENTS!!!! Even if they are baby books, I have babies too you know, we love experiencing new books. Happy reading. :)

Oh how they grow- 9 months old

2011-01-18T11:52:00.001-06:00

The boys turned 9 months old on December 22nd and had their 9 month old doctor's appointment last Tuesday. They are both rather small as far as weight goes, I think like in the 5th percentile! But, they re fine. They are super active and eat A LOT so they must just be slow gainers. This 6 month to a year old time period is so much fun! They are really moving around, both of them are crawling, Reed on his hands and knees and Isaac is still doing the army crawl, and have been for about 3 months now. They are pulling up on everything and both cruising around the furniture. They have both been experimenting with trying to stand alone, mainly Reed though. He will be in the middle of the room and try to stand up, he doesn't quite have it but he will soon, very soon. Isaac does a lot of holding onto things with just one hand and standing so he is also testing out his skills. They are really starting to interact with each other. The other day I caught them playing peek-a-boo with each other and laughing. They have also started taking toys from each other and "fighting" over things. It's usually Isaac who takes the toys, but not always. the thing is that when Isaac takes toys, Reed doesn't really care unless he really wants it and he'll fight back for it, which makes Isaac unhappy. He'll look at me and whine as if to say, "he won't let me steal the toy. do something." They have also started competing a bit. Competing to get to something like a toy or for the prime spot to stand at a piece of furniture OR for my attention. They'll just claw, crawl, push there way up on to me. I often compare them to the seagulls on Finding Nemo, "Mine-Mine-MineMineMine". Both boys understand a few signs like "all done", "eat", "milk" and "more". They are both finally getting into books and can sometimes sit a bit longer and listen to a short story without either wandering off or just trying to get to the book to eat it (see seagull reference above). Here is a bit more about each one of them:

Isaac- He is definitely the more assertive of the two. If he doesn't get what he wants he throws a little tantrum, which I was told is pretty common at this age. There is definitely a pecking order in our house, Madeline steals from Isaac and Isaac steals from Reed. Isaac is a yeller, he just yells out randomly and he yells from his crib in the mornings or when he can't get to sleep, very vocal, always has been, he certainly lets you know if he is not happy about something. He says "Mama" and "Dada" and directs these words to us when he needs us or wants us/something. Just this morning I was singing Pop Goes the Weasel and he said "pop" after the song and then kept doing it every time I sang it, so I guess you could say that was his 3rd word. He is still Mr. Ticklish but not really very silly. He really likes peek-a-boo and will initiate it. Yesterday he was putting a blanket over himself and then pulling it off and looking for a reaction, he thought himself to be VERY clever. He does "so big" and he claps a lot, he thinks he's pretty clever when he does that as well. Isaac really picks up on the mechanics of how something like a toy works or can be manipulated. Often I only have to show him once and he can imitate what I did right away. He is not what I would call laid back but he does tend to wander off sometimes and do his own thing, we call him the one man wolf pack at those times. He is always on the move and tends to just throw himself into an activity without much thought, he seems to have no fear of failure.

In comparing the two boys, here is an analogy: If they both came to a river with no way to cross, Isaac would just jump right in and swim and Reed may figure a way to build a bridge to cross.

Reed: He is more laid back and things don't tend to bother Reed as much. Though when he is bothered, you'll know it! He will cry, loudly, and not relent until his need has been met. He is still loving his pacifier, though I have recently cut it off from being used during play time and only use it at nap time and bed time, he's doing very well with that and doesn't miss it much unless he is getting tired. Reed seems to be a couple weeks behind Isaac on most things, well except for motor skills. Though instead of just doing something, he tends to be slower at doing it but when he does it's perfectly executed. Take his crawling, he was up on all fours for a long time just rocking, Isaac had already started army crawling around. But when Reed finally took off, it was a "perfect" crawl. Reed also tends to sit and manipulate an object instead of quickly moving from object to object. He has been pulling up for a long time and is really working on balancing to a stand on his own. But much like the crawling, I anticipate a lot of practice and then when he finally does it, it will be immediately mastered. Reed has really become a silly kid, he will crawl quickly, turn around and then giggle. He also likes peek-a-boo and is doing "so big". He doesn't clap yet but is saying "Mama" and "Dada". "Mama" is definitely directed at me but I am not sure if "Dada" is directed at Jake yet. Reed is such a little cuddler and he is able to just sit with someone and hang out. All he has to do is flash his big smile and I melt! Reed still adores Madeline, he'd probably follow her off a cliff. When she asks the boys to come with her or follow her somewhere, Reed immediately abides, Isaac, eh, sometimes.

They are so enjoyable these days, they can play more on their own now and seem to be discovering new things and skills on a daily basis. They are changing rapidly and it's so fun to watch. Gosh, I love my sweet boys so much!

Madeline's Room

2011-01-13T15:53:00.002-06:00

I gotta say people, I am a blogging son-of-a-gun these days!! The last post pushed me to finally post these photos of Madeline's room. I have been putting it off because of two VERY measly things I have left to do before it is completely finished: 1) paint her small chair a glossy yellow 2) cover the white lampshade with some vintage print fabrics in a crazy quilt pattern. Those are two DIY projects I haven't gotten around to doing, so I am just going to post photos without them, this is big for me, I am a total perfectionist so I am seriously feeling vulnerable, but I LOVE Madeline's room so I wanted to share. It just may be my favorite room in the house, I hope you like it!

Home Prepared Environment- Revised & Organized

2011-01-13T15:05:00.002-06:00

As an update to a previous post, I wanted to keep up with sharing the progress and changes I've made to Madeline's prepared environment at home. The biggest update is "the brothers". Now that Isaac and Reed are all over the place crawling, pulling up and cruising, the original prepared environment had to be greatly revised. Some of the work that I had set out for Madeline was not going to be okay left out for teething 9 month olds (choke hazards!!). So I had to change up what was out in the open and accessible. During the day Madeline is at school and the boys are at home with me, I want them to have free reign to explore the entire house so I only have things out in the open (the living room, kitchen, their room) that is safe for them to mess with. I have large piece wood puzzles and play kitchen utensils out in the open in the living room and a shelf with puzzles and some board books for them. Inside the play kitchen doors are some items that Madeline can access but the boys are too little to be able to open the door, for now that is. I also have a toy box in the living room with some of their baby toys in it. Toy boxes are not very Montessori, but at this age I need to have a place to store some things and actually they enjoy fishing things out and putting them back in, which is hopefully a good motor skill and problem-solving skill building activity. I have moved a lot of what Madeline enjoys into her room. That is her place to read books and play with her things. I also set up an open book shelf in the boys room so that they have their space and the ability to explore new things. I also plan on putting up in the boy's room some low hooks for their coats and have an area it below for their shoes.

There are several ways in which I have changed my approach to the at-home prepared environment. Here are the two main principles I have adopted based on reading, observing Madeline's school and learning what my children need at home:

1) Most important, everything needs to have it's place, a place where those items are ALWAYS returned after use. If Madeline knows where something always goes then she usually returns it there. At her age, she wants order. For example, when we are all in the kitchen, like during dinner time, she can be at the table eating but she will get up to close a cabinet drawer or door if she feels it was left open too long. It's really interesting to observe. She has hooks in her room that are her height and she knows that is always where she puts her coat and backpack and we reinforce it ourselves. She knows dirty clothes go in her hamper so she takes them there, usually on her own. We have tried to make our entire house be an area where everything has its place, that is very comfortable to her. Does this mean she always puts her stuff away, of course not. But if she doesn't its not because she doesn't know where it goes, it's because she is choosing to be an obstinate 2 year old, but everything having its place even helps with that because there is no confusion as to what we expect from her. This applies to toys as well, every item has its place. Does this mean that the house is always in perfect order, ABSOLUTELY NOT, especially when their are art projects or the kids have just been playing all day and going from one thing to the next like on Friday through Sunday. I actually read a very interesting article relating to that. I recommend the read, it gave me some good clarity on the balance I am always seeking in parenting between letting a kid just be a kid and perfect order.

2) I have stepped back from providing as much focused work and instead tried to provide a home environment heavy on practical life skill work and more pretend play. Madeline really likes pretend play these days, we play school (she's the teacher of course), we play store (she got a cash register and more play food for Christmas), we play family, restaurant and doctor (she got a doctor kit for Christmas as well). These are all activities initiated by her and I try to let her imagination take it where it will. It's hilarious to hear her say certain things when playing, things I, or her teacher or her dad have said EXACTLY. Unfortunately the independent play that I was really seeking through the prepared environment has not been as forthcoming. I tried to provide work that was more geared toward independent play but she just wasn't interested in it, though she is recently getting better with independence, I think it is her getting older, she is now two and a half, it's still a struggle. Truly the Montessori way is child-led learning, I can't make her learn something she isn't interested in, she will lose interest in learning all together, I would be doing exactly what I shouldn't do according to Montessori principles. So, I backed off and let go of what I thought she should be doing and am instead doing some "teaching" through her pretend play. In the book Montessori Madness, the author talks about how kids in Montessori schools don't have homework, they come home and ride their bikes. He talks about the problems with the public school systems and how it doesn't help kids to enjoy learning when what they are learning is decided by the teacher and jumps from subject to subject without the child being able to fully explore it and LEARN it. I had to learn to step back, observe, let go and actually become MORE Montessori in my approach to the home prepared environment. Afterall, I'm not home schooling, I'm just trying to provide her with an environment that is comfortable for her and easy to navigate. We have also definitely ramped up the practical life work, which has been a source of personal pride building for Madeline and a great source of mom and daughter time for me.

Being a mom gives me the chance everyday to learn new things about myself and others. I am forever teachable.

DIY watercolor paint

2011-01-12T11:28:00.002-06:00

image via Martha Stewart

This is really neat, I love learning homemade options for things! You may remember the homemade sidewalk chalk I wrote about last summer. Once we run out of our watercolors, I'd like to try this. And not just for Madeline to use, I think I might just mix some for myself. You can find the tutorial here.

Inspired- Thrifting

2011-01-12T10:50:00.003-06:00

The Sartorialist

As I stated below on my list of things to remember for 2011, I want to go back to taking more risks with my wardrobe. Here are a few pieces/looks I am inspired by, but not inspired to buy these exact items, more so inspired to find these looks in thrift stores and add them to my wardrobe. When I was in college especially but also some after college, I was a BIG thrift store shopper. You would not believe the amount of very cool vintage purses I have. Of course once I became a mom a lot of those vintage clutches had to be replaced with totes, don't get me wrong, I love totes too but lately I am missing the fun of quirky wardrobe pieces.

Big Announcement: I plan on looking to go back to work full time this Summer- ALERT: MOM GUILT! MOM GUILT! MOM GUILT! Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be blogging all about it in the very near future.

I mention it because I am going to take it as an opportunity to change how I dress since I will have somewhere in public to go everyday. So here are a few staple pieces and looks that I'll be checking the thrift stores for, I'll keep you posted on my finds.

NOTE: The jewelry shown, I will never be able to find in a thrift store, I'll just have to save up for those BEAUTIFUL pieces and buy them on Etsy.

Spinthread / Anthropologie

The Sartorialist

Spinthread / JCrew

The Sartorialist

Anthropologie / Minnetonka

The Sartorialist

JCrew / Anthropologie / JCrew

JCrew

2011-01-10T10:55:00.000-06:00

Be present and truly enjoy my children-
Sometimes I can get caught up in trying to be the perfect mother and handling everything perfectly that I lose the moment. When I let go of the perfectionism in either how I think I should act or how I think my kids should act, being a mom is a lot more fun!

“Keep Calm and Carry On”-
I find that remaining calm and low key (not yelling)when dealing with an obstinate 2 year old can be one of my biggest challenges as a parent. When I lose it and yell, I come out of it feeling so sad about how I handled it and really, it doesn’t work. But when I do remain calm and low key, it really can work and I certainly walk away from the altercation, no matter how difficult she was, feeling good about what transpired.

Keep my daily prayer and meditation a priority-
Taking these quiet moments daily are a huge help for my sanity and specifically the two things mentioned previously.

Draw without the pressure of success-
When I draw from a place of enjoyment and inspiration rather than the drive to succeed, the entire process is more honest and I tend to be more proud of the final outcome, without second guessing it.

Finish up the little decorating projects around my house-
Decorating is a huge source of enjoyment for me but when these “projects” hang over my head, it can be a source of stress.

Dress as I wish, not as I think I should or what is easiest-

I used to really take risks with my wardrobe, but lately I’ve done what’s easiest. Thinking it through makes me feel good and it’s fun!

Madeline's First Haircut

2011-01-03T10:42:00.007-06:00

Yes, yes, I know, this is SO last year but I didn't want to not post it. When I was downloading the pictures from Christmas I came across these and since it was such a big event, I needed to get these up for everyone to see. It happened right before the holiday season, on November 19th, so unfortunately it got overlooked by all the other events.

Madeline got her first haircut at almost 2.5 years old. As some of you may know, Madeline's hair has been VERY slow to grow but it was starting to get very unmanageable and scraggly so it was finally time for a haircut. The haircut took literally 5 minutes, it was very quick, not much to really work with you see. But, she got some bangs and it was evened out a bit. She LOVED the entire experience, I knew she would. Now her hair seems to be really "taking off", well for her anyway. Hopefully the days of barrettes and headbands and ponytails and pigtails will soon be here. I see so many little girls with such cute hair-dos and I just KNOW Madeline will love all of that. We have made attempts at it before and she does love it but she can't keep her hands off of her hair, she's so fascinated with it and not used to it, so it's usually down within minutes. Not to mention the fact that she is a finger sucker who must do it in conjunction with hair twirling, ugh. Either way, she got her haircut!!!! It was a fun mommy/daughter time and it made for a good conversation piece for several days following.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T15:47:00.005-06:00

Here's wishing you and yours health and happiness in 2011!

Christmas Festivities

2010-12-28T16:38:00.014-06:00

After spending Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at our house, we hit the road for Springfield, IL, about 3.5 hours south of Chicago, to spend Christmas with Jake's family. We started at Aunt Diane's house, where we ate lunch and spent time with family from Jake's dad's side. This is called the Squire Christmas, something that is done annually where Jake's grandma and her two sisters' families gather together for some DELICIOUS food and good company. After that we went over to Great Grandma Scott's house, exchanged gifts and ate supper. The next morning, Sunday, we went over to Jake's sister's house to exchange gifts with Grandma and Grandpa and "the cousins", this is always so much fun, Madeline enjoys her cousins SO much. And then for lunch time we went to Great Grandma Strawn's house for lunch and more exchanging of gifts. The entire weekend was very full! Full of events, but also full of love, laughter, playing, funny kid's quotes and family. One thing I think about a lot is how grateful I am that Madeline has a cousin that is so close to her age, Joe, who is 3 years old. The two of them are really funny with each other and love to play together. Here's a funny story that we all got a belly laugh out of:
Great Grandma Strawn's cat doesn't have a tail, so Uncle Chris (Joe's dad) decided to mess with Joe about it (Madeline and Joe are constantly interested in that cat, at one point we heard them in the other room singing Jingle Bells to it), Chris said, "Joe, what did you do to that cat's tail?" Joe had a stunned look on his face, looked down at the cat's rump, looked back up and said "Madeline did it!"

We are blessed, Merry Christmas!

Christmas morning

2010-12-28T15:20:00.004-06:00

Santa came to our house!! He brought the drum and marching band hat that Madeline said she wanted but to be honest she was more interested in the candy and replacement toothbrush he put in her stocking, oh and the blocks that were actually a gift for her brothers, go figure. She was excited about the whole concept of Santa coming to our house, eating the cookies we baked and leaving presents but it was all still a bit new to her. I think it will take a few years for that fever pitch excitement to set in. Either way Christmas was SO...MUCH...FUN this year! We woke up, opened presents, and then got ready to hit the road for our 3 hour drive to Springfield so we could spend Christmas day with Jake's family.

By the way, I noticed that these photos make it seem like we didn't have wrapped presents, of course all the gifts were wrapped from Santa, I just never take photos in the thick of things, I tend to wait until afterward. I always forget to take photos when activities I am supposed to participate in take place. I used to think that was bad because I wouldn't be able to "capture the essence", hahaha, of the event. But I've come to realize that if I were taking photos (I'm not a seasoned photographer) I might miss something, and I definitely wouldn't want that to happen. :)

Christmas Eve

2010-12-28T15:11:00.006-06:00

This year we spent Christmas Eve at home, just Jake, myself and the kids, it was really wonderful. Jake and Madeline played outside in the snow (it snowed quite a bit on Christmas Eve), we watched Christmas movies, we cooked a delicious meal, Madeline and I baked cookies for Santa and we opened up some family gifts. My mom and dad, Grammy and Grandpa, got Madeline the Woody doll she had asked for, which was super exciting for her .

All around, it was a beautiful day.

From Our Family To Yours

2010-12-24T15:27:00.001-06:00

Wonderful Christmas Time

2010-12-22T20:30:00.008-06:00

I am so excited for Christmas this year! My three kids have me remembering how magical it was for me when I was a kid. Becoming a mom is THE BEST THING I've ever done!

The Christmas Tree Farm 2010

2010-12-22T16:52:00.016-06:00

"We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols." -Clark Griswold

This year's trip to cut down the Strawn family Christmas tree made for a REALLY. GOOD. DAY. We packed up all of the kids and drove up to northern Illinois to try out a NEW Christmas tree farm, Ben's Tree Farm. Now this tree farm was much further away than the one we went to last year and we were hoping more "authentic". I had done a little research and became very interested in Ben's for 2 reasons: 1) It's an organically grown tree farm and 2) It is out in the middle of nowhere complete with Santa and Clydesdale drawn wagons! Well, it certainly delivered! The trees were all beautiful and Madeline loved the Clydesdale horses. Madeline spotted Santa Claus on a tractor right when we walked up so she was just a bit (to put it mildly) distracted when we were trekking around trying to find that perfect tree, she kept asking to go see Santa. We were fortunate to pretty quickly find the "perfect" tree for us and then went on to the warming barn were there was hot chocolate and apple cider donuts. And then....Santa showed up!!! Ok, this Santa was a bit rough around the edges, not nearly as magical as last year's Santa, but he was very kind to Madeline. He walked in and leaned down, gave her his hand to shake and said, "Hello, I'm Santa, what's your name?" and without missing a beat, my confident little girl pointed to herself and said, "I'm Madeline." As clear as day and spoken directly to him, looking at his face. Then she sat on his lap, no hesitation, she knew it was time to tell him what she wanted for Christmas. When he asked, she said, "A Woody and Jessie." (the doll characters from Toy Story) WHAT???? I thought she wanted a drum and marching band hat!!! That's what she told me and it was already in the works, meaning being CUSTOM-MADE by a vendor on Etsy! I was thrown for a loop with that one, this parenting thing really keeps you on your toes! But we got our tree tied it to the roof and headed out to find a place to eat in the town nearby. We stumbled upon a local diner, Kelly's, that had great, well-priced food. All three of the kids were so happy and well behaved at the restaurant and then all slept for the drive home. Well, we now have a new place to go every year for our tree AND we now have eating lunch at Kelly's to add to the tradition.

Before Madeline fell asleep on the way home I tried to get some clarification on what she wanted from Santa Claus. She said, when asked, that yes, she did still want the drum and marching band hat. Of course she is two and a half so I wasn't too concerned about her being disappointed if she didn't get a Woody and Jessie doll, but at the same time, if she tells Santa something and he doesn't deliver...I don't know, I'm SURE I'm over thinking it all. Most would say, well get her both, the thing is that I really try to limit the amount of gifts she gets, I want that one thing to seem really special, I want her to appreciate gifts and things, so that stuff doesn't just become commodities to her. I don't want her to have so many toys that they are forgotten or not taken care of, I want her to learn to value what you have knowing that a lot don't even have that. Well, I asked her to choose one, Woody or Jessie, she chose Woody and my mom got it for her and Santa is taking care of the drum and marching band hat, whew.

Oh, and about Santa. Remember how last year I said we would start another tradition where we take our kids to downtown Chicago every year to see the BIG Christmas tree and the spitting image Santa?? Well, we skipped this year, it has been SO cold here, so on the Friday I was going to take them downtown to meet up with Jake it was like 12 degrees, seriously. Combine that with corralling the three of them around downtown Chicago.....well in one word: daunting! So we skipped this year, hopefully we'll pick it up next year! For this year, she saw one Santa, the scraggly kind version at the tree farm, oh and did I mention that the boys didn't even get their picture taken with Santa? They didn't. I know, bad mom, next year, next year. :)

Note to self...

2010-12-16T11:09:00.005-06:00

...DON'T stop drawing.
One thing that has been put on the back burner is my artwork. It brings me so much joy but with twin babies and a 2 year old, it has suffered. Lately I am feeling that it is time to start creating again and I feel energized to do so.
Within literally the last week I have been feeling like I am in a good groove with all 3 of my kids, I have enjoyed, really enjoyed them and felt so present with them all, like I did with Madeline, when it was just her. And this new way doesn't feel fleeting, it feels more permanent. That's not to say that it won't ever be super difficult again at times, it will, I am sure of it, but I think we've or maybe just I've really taken a corner. It feels really good and it has made me think that there may just be some room in my life for those extra things that I really enjoy, like my artwork.

Outtakes

2010-12-13T15:55:00.006-06:00

Thanksgiving 2010-Road Trip!

2010-12-13T10:38:00.008-06:00

This Thanksgiving we were VERY brave! We loaded up all three of the kids and drove, yes drove from our home in Chicago to my cousin's house in southern Oklahoma, it was a seven day, 849 mile adventure and it turned out to be a wonderful trip. Packing for this trip was RE-DIC-U-LOUS! Wow, I needed a vacation from the packing alone, it sure is different packing once twin babies are added into the mix, plus we were packing for seven days. Babies pee, poop and spit up on themselves so the changes of clothes x2 was intense! Plus I needed to think about what to bring in order to keep kids happy in a confined car. I tried to do a lot of planning, especially for Madeline who wouldn't sleep like the boys would. She had snacks, books, small lap toys and some DVD's. We also tried to plan times to stop in conjunction with the boy's normal eating and nap schedules, all in all it went very smoothly, for the most part that is...keep reading.

On the way down we stopped and stayed in Jacksonville, IL (about 4 hours south of Chicago) and visited for a few days with Jake's sister, Aunt Jennifer, Uncle Chris and "the cousins", Cole, Anna, Collin and Joe (who Madeline ADORES) and with Jake's parents, Grandma Sharon and Grandpa David. We also got to visit with Jake's grandmas, Grandma Scott and Grandma Strawn. It started the entire adventure out very well! Then we got back on the road. That first day we drove all the way from central Illinois to Miami, Oklahoma (pronounced My-a-ma we found out). We spent the night there and at this point things were still running smoothly, the kids did remarkably well sleeping all together in one room. But the loading and unloading of the equipment was crazy: 2 pack and plays AND one twin size blow up mattress plus the big suitcase of all of our clothes. Then there was the snacks, toys, coats, bedding, whoa, it was A LOT. But let me tell you that Jake and I have gotten SO good at teamwork, we divide and conquer. We communicate a plan for how everything will play out, dividing up duties and then implementing the plan. I find that is key in parenting, especially parenting twins and a 2 year old, having a strong marriage as equal partners is necessary to maintain sanity (most of the time).

We woke up the next morning, our 3rd driving day, and actually had the ability to take our time a bit. On the way down we stopped and visited my maternal grandparent's and uncle's grave which was so important to me and the day was just beautiful. They are buried in a small cemetery, Massey Cemetery, a place where the majority of my ancestors, from my grandfather's side, are buried. The cemetery is located up on a hill right near a lake and right by some land my grandfather used to own and ranch. The trees were all beautiful colors and the temperature made for a perfect Fall day. After our visit there we proceeded on and arrived at my cousin's house that late afternoon.

The next few days were filled with family, including my parents Grandpa Steve and Grammy Sonya, my sister Aunt Ashley, Uncle Russell and cousin Mather as well as other cousins aunts and uncles, lots of laughter and love. Thanksgiving has always been my family's big holiday, a time in which we all get together and truly enjoy each other's company: lots of catching up, joking, being outside and telling stories. Our Thanksgiving meal was DELICIOUS and the company being kept was even better! Then...

...on Thanksgiving day Isaac got very sick. He started running a high fever and and of course, after all that planning, I failed to bring any baby Ibuprofen. So we were all trying to figure out how to divide the dose of an adult tablet. We figured it out, we gave him some and his fever did come down a bit. I guess you're wondering why I didn't just run into town and get him some at the store well this is a very small town and nothing was open and if it was, we called and they didn't have any.

An hour after giving him the adult Ibuprofen we decided to take the kids back to where we were staying for bedtime, but before we left my cousin's house I decided to go ahead and get directions to the local hospital just in case...well I ended up needing those directions. Once we got back to our room we checked his temperature again and it had shot up a lot in only one hour. I felt I needed to take him in. He was fine, it was only a virus and if I had some children's Ibuprofen and hadn't just given him the adult version and not been out in the middle of nowhere, I probably wouldn't have even gone to the ER but at the time it was the right thing to do.

We left the next day, stayed one night in southern Missouri and then drove all the way back to Chicago that last day, stopping once at Jake's parent's house for lunch and to give the kids time to stretch their legs and play before the last stretch back home. That day and the one to follow Reed also started to get a fever and get sick and Isaac was still sick, the night in the hotel was brutal. I think Madeline had actually had the virus before both the boys it just wasn't as severe.

The entire trip was really wonderful, regardless of the sicknesses it was so great to get in the car as a family and travel across America. My family was big road trip travelers, going to National Parks, museums and experiencing this great country we live in. All of those wonderful childhood feelings of family trips flooded back into me on this trip and has me itching to plan another family trip soon, well not too soon---I mean I'm not crazy, just a softy for making memories. :) Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know I have A LOT to be thankful for this year.

Halloween 2010

2010-11-02T13:29:00.012-05:00

Isaac (the pumpkin) is in a daze.

Reed's (the skeleton) facial expression in this above photo just cracks me up! HA! Isaac, um, still in a daze.

Dad is on the side trying to keep it together and big sis is trying to help. And Isaac, yes, still in a daze.

Madeline is trying to keep her brothers in line, it's a tough job, they are too interested in their pants at this point.

light pole was not actually coming out of her head, yikes. I'll go ahead and blame that composition on my husband.

Yes, my hand is obstructing half her face but this picture actually shows her REAL smile, which is SO pretty, so I just had to post it.

We had a WONDERFUL Halloween! Well, first of all we are now in a house which makes trick or treating that much better! Not just for the fact that Madeline can just walk out our front door and go trick or treating but also because WE get to give out candy. It was such a beautiful crisp October evening, perfect weather for trick or treating. Unfortunately, this perfect evening was not documented so well with photos (disclaimer: poor composition, poor lighting, fake smiles and cranky babies were not intentional). By the time we remembered to take photos, I had already put on Madeline's puffer vest so that she would keep warm and attached her homemade (obviously) ladybug wings to the vest plus she didn't want to wear her antennas. Also, the homemade tutu of her costume was starting to look worse for wear because she had already worn it once for a birthday party the evening before. And the boys, well Isaac was doing pretty well, Reed was not. Needless to say, we were barely keeping it together by the time picture time rolled around. Actually the photos are hilarious and I LOVE them, Reed's face is priceless, no doubt I will see this face again and again in the years to come. :) As the night unfolded Reed got to doing better and Isaac loved it, he was constantly scooting up to the door every time the doorbell rand, kind of like a house pet, hahaha. Madeline loved trick or treating, she was so polite, only taking one piece of candy at each house. Between the houses she was singing "tricker treaty, tricker, tricker treaty" but once she would actually get up to the house, she'd just freeze, she'd finally get her one piece of candy, after much prodding say "thank you" very softly and then we'd walk away, she'd break into song again and then the same thing at the next house. We have one neighbor who really did their house up scary, and the buzz on the streets was that they were giving away king size candy bars! (I'm serious, there was a buzz on the street amongst the middle school age kids). I asked her if she wanted to go to the scary house and she said yes, as we approached the scary house, I asked again if she wanted to go the scary house. This time she said, "No, too scary." :)

I hope y'all had a Happy Halloween, ours was fantastic, can't wait for next year!

Oh how they grow- 7 months old

2010-10-26T12:21:00.010-05:00

Sorry for no photos of them actually smiling. I am a terrible photographer and I think my camera's shutter speed is too slow. I promise, they ARE happy babies who smile A LOT! :)

On October 22nd Isaac and Reed turned 7 months old and it's amazing how much they have changed. They move around everywhere and they are getting to be so much fun. They find things hilarious and are usually super smiley when they see you first thing whenever they wake up. It's interesting how small things can make life with twins so much easier, the smiling when they wake up is one of them. As most know, when a baby is little (0-3 months) they can't self-soothe, it takes A LOT to console them, and now multiply that by 2 AND add a 2 year old into the mix = BRUTAL! Now, if they are fussing, it doesn't take much to turn their frown upside down, you can just be silly or comfort them or just talk to them and they are much more easily calmed, This is HUGE for a twin parent's mental health, seriously! Also, just the fact that they can play a bit more independently and are stronger physically makes a huge difference with ease of transport and the ability to get things done. I feel like I have had a 1 month window (6-7 months) where the difficulties of infant care have been somewhat elevated and they aren't so active where they have to be constantly watched, but that is quickly changing. Hey, I'm still grateful for that one "easy" month. The other glaring difference I see lately is how Isaac and Reed seem to be more integrated into the family happenings. Of course they were always with us but it was more difficult to really include them when they were so little. Now, Madeline can help out more, like giving Reed his pacifier or talking to them when they wake up while I fix bottles or giving them toys or just interacting with them, that is really cool to watch. I will find her reading them a story or explaining to them what something is, she is seriously their little teacher. It's funny she will tell them the exact same things I say, like if they are fussing for a bottle I'll hear her say, "What's wrong fellas?" "Don't worry, momma's coming with your bottles sweet boys." She says it verbatim, its really funny. It's nice to be able to include her more and she likes to help with diaper changes and picking out their clothes. Sometimes she still gets jealous but all of that is getting better everyday, especially as they become more interactive with her. Each boy certainly has his own relationship with Madeline. I find that she and Isaac butt heads more and he complains more when she messes with him. Reed is much more relaxed and laid back with her and so she is a bit more loving and interested in him, and Reed is certainly IN LOVE with her.

Here are a few more specifics about each boy:
Isaac- He is our bull in the China shop, our gross motor skill master. He is a mover, whoa. Like he will follow you out of the room mover! He has already gone after electrical cords and sockets. He likes to beat on things, toys, his high chair tray, his siblings and parents etc. He is a big-picture guy for sure but he also a major cuddler and giggler, oh my gosh that kid is ticklish all over and it doesn't take much to make him chuckle. He continues to be a poor sleeper. Now, I am being really picky here because he does sleep completely through the night and does take naps. It's just that his naps are relatively short and he wakes up early, 5:30-6am! He was 17 lbs, 7 oz at his 6 month appointment, so he's growing very well. He already has two teeth that have broken through and he can sit up on his own unattended. He is a big communicator, lots of dadada-ing and loud talk, he'll let you know what he wants or doesn't like, that's for sure. We love him very much.

Reed- He is our thinker, our fine motor skills master. He likes to manipulate the little parts of a toy and can do that for a while. He is also a big observer and SO smiley! He is very laid back, though if he wants something or is unhappy he lets you know big time. But once his needs are met, he is content again. Of the 3 children I think he will be the neutral one, pretty much getting along with everyone. He has a very special bond with Madeline, he adores her and she does him. He is still seeing a PT and an OT each once a week and is doing VERY well with both. He is just a bit delayed in his physical development but not too far behind. He is getting up on all fours and rocking and is scooting about. Just in the past few days there has been major improvement in his core strength and is sitting up unattended for several minutes. He continues to be our string bean, weighing in at only 13 lbs at his 6 month visit! But he is getting taller, he's happy and he is eating a lot so he must just have a fast metabolism, the doctor isn't worried. He hasn't gotten any of his teeth yet but he NEEDS to. He will chew on anything and everything, my face, arm, fingers, anything that enters his line of sight, he is teething bad! Reedy has such a cute smile and hair that sticks straight up, he's a character. We love him very much.

We love them both very much.

Yep, I'm in love...

2010-10-21T09:48:00.005-05:00

...with these new jeans from EmersonMade! I don't know about you but I'm getting tired of the faux worn-in, low waisted, skinny denim of the current. These are so much more what I'm looking for, unique yet totally classy. Sign me up! And you can get yours here.

2010-09-20T13:40:00.008-05:00

It seems that with many things: home accessories/furniture, clothing (both kid and mine) etc. there are always items that I LOVE but they are just completely unreasonable considering that we have three kids and basic living expenses to maintain. Now I'm not saying that I don't sometimes "treat" myself and splurge a bit but there is also something fun about finding a replacement that you may not LOVE but you certainly like a lot for a much better price.

For example, I have been completely lusting after this pillow by Jonathan Adler for a while now but for $145.00, I really just can't justify the purchase. Then I found this pillow for $43.00 from Fine Little Shop and realized that it would work just as well in the spot I had planned for the expensive JA pillow. Let me make something clear, I CERTAINLY believe the JA pillow is worth the $145.00 price tag, it's hand embroidered and fantastic but unfortunately it's just not in my budget these days. For now I will get the beautiful Fine Little Shop Pillow. Hey, maybe I'll post an image of it in its final space when it's all completed and put together.

Patience, Perspective and Prepared Environments

2010-09-16T14:34:00.025-05:00

I was realizing the other night how much I have learned since the boys were born almost 6 months ago, about myself and my children. Some of the things I have learned have not been so great (the things about myself). I have struggled a lot with those things, realizing along the way that I need more balance in all aspects of my life, how I deal with people, big people and the little ones and realizing what steps I need to take in order to maintain sanity, serenity, a sense of self and pride in my parenting. It was seeming like my life was happening to me rather than my being a part of it and I was finding that my way of dealing with my kids was making me feel very down on myself. Because my life is SO full with the boys, Madeline and work, it was swallowing me, I couldn't see the forest for the trees and I was, frankly, lost. So, I started doing some real thinking about what I needed to do to change my way of dealing with things. First, I needed a concrete plan of how I would deal with my 2 year old daughter when she was acting out, which was happening a lot lately. Most of this, I know, was transition fueled: new house, new brothers, new school, less mommy. I was starting to feel like I was dealing with a teenager (I see lots of similarities in teen and toddler behavior), she was either acting out or withdrawn, it's like I was "losing" her, unable to get through to her or at least feeling like I couldn't. My reaction would escalate the situation, leave her probably feeling disconnected and definitely left me feeling guilty and sad about what had occurred wishing I had handled it better. Okay, like I said, I decided to really make the solution a priority so I started by actually writing down what steps I would take when I was feeling overwhelmed by her behavior. I made a list in the notes section of my iPhone, very accessible no matter where I am, this concrete step by step has been invaluable. The next part of my "solution" has been, dare I say, beautiful? Yes, a beautiful eureka for sure. As I said in a previous post, Madeline has started going to a Montessori school, honestly we put her there because the vibe I got when I went there was awesome, it was warm, totally different than what you'd think of in a preschool (they have GLASS vases with fresh flowers on all of the little tables in the room!), and very multicultural but I really didn't know that much about the Montessori philosophy. If I was going to have her go some place before actual preschool age, 3, I wanted it to be more than just a babysitter. As Madeline continued to go to school, I started noticing all of these unique approaches they took towards the children, I wanted to know more. I started by asking questions here and there to Madeline's teacher (who, btw, is awesome, so calm and nurturing, Madeline LOVES her), like what is line time exactly? With every tidbit answer I received, I wanted to know even more. The school was having an open house and one of the "seminars" being given was by their Kindergarten teacher and it was titled "Montessori 101". Okay, let me just tell you that the examples she gave of how they direct, not teach, was fascinating and I was hooked! Then a parent of one of the kids in Madeline's class told me about a book she was reading called, "Montessori Madness". I HIGHLY recommend it, it provides a wealth of knowledge from a parent's perspective. Then through more research on the Internet, I found this website, it is wonderful. If you are at all interested in or just curious about Montessori education, check it out for sure. Okay, so this all leads me to the subject of the rest of this post. I was finding that on Fridays when I have all 3 of the kids at home with me, if I am not constantly interacting with Madeline, which is impossible when I have 2 more children to take care of, her default is to ask to watch t.v. I have to admit that she watches way more t.v., really since I got pregnant, then I would ever want her to. It breaks my heart that yes, sometimes I just give up and give in and then she checks out. I tear up thinking about it. You see before my first trimester sickness, she had hardly watched t.v. at all and I never watch t.v. during the day, never, and rarely even at night, so she had never really been exposed to it. But since the pregnancy, I have really used it to entertain her. Ugh. That's one of the many awesome things about her going to school, NO t.v. all week, well except for Fridays when she is home with me. :( So,the idea of setting up a prepared environment, check this out for a "definition", came to me at first when I saw this blog post on Ohdeedoh, then I started really diving into Montessori information and was also so inspired by Madeline's classroom at school. I have this empty corner of our living room that divides two different sitting areas that I hadn't really decided what I was going to do with it, so for now, it was housing Madeline's play kitchen and a small toy area. Well, after doing A LOT of research, I have revised it, edited the toys and set up a prepared environment for Madeline. I did not spend any money other than buying 2 baskets at the local Goodwill. I have plans to buy some Montessori material I think she will really like. And I plan on watching her and rotating out the "work" once I see what she enjoys and what she seems to not, but for now, I got creative with what we already had in the house. I tried to provide different areas: 1)practical life 2)math 3)language 4)nature/science, oh and then I have an art shelf in the kitchen area (no photos of that yet). I also have really been trying to include her in some practical life skills activities like helping me make fruit salad, make her meals, preparing my coffee AND the boy's bottles. We've been putting our backpack in a certain place, putting our dirty clothes away and basically she has been participating in all of the everyday self care activities. It's amazing how well she has responded to this after only really focusing on it this week. Last night she went potty and it was time to get in the bath, she picked up her underwear and ran out, I thought, oh great, I'm gonna have to go chase her, but then she came back. She had just gone to throw her undies in her dirty clothes hamper!! Wow! And add to all of this, she has started potty training this week, actually the school is doing it, its very child directed which is awesome and it starts the whole process out without so much pressure, she has been doing great!! Only one accident at home so far this week but several at school. The other thing Montessori thought is teaching me is how to handle Madeline the toddler, especially during those times she is testing boundaries, and it too has been working. And you know what, I have walked away from ALL interaction with my daughter this entire week feeling good and loving her so much and I think she has felt the same way. It's truly been a blessing, knowledge is power, AND serenity in my case.

Whoa, long post, sorry. But yes, I've become a total Montessori geek and I'm lovin' it!

I edited out the amount of dishes and food in her play kitchen area, making it less overwhelming and now I can rotate items in and out. Also her small table is empty, giving her space to work. I'd like to eventually get some low open shelving to go under the windows and between the kitchen and plants so she can have more things like this to play with, work with and explore.

This is something I made up to help her with hand dexterity by using the tongs and also thinking about patterns/grouping etc. It's just cut up pieces of 3 different distinctly different pieces of fabric, I showed her how to use it by sorting the fabric pieces by color into the 3 different areas of the tray, it's kind of like a sorting tray (of course this is just a vintage hors d'oeuvers tray but it works right?) I've seen in her classroom mixed with a tong practical life exercise I've also seen.

These are just your basic blocks and stacking rings, though I showed her alternating the block and rings to make a mixed tower, she wanted to count them after we did it.

Seriously, this is a bottle drying rack, It really is. The fact that it is plastic is so not Montessori BUT each peg can only be attached one way, which made for some problem solving and thinking when she first approached it. Now it's her favorite, this thing played the role of a birthday cake which she asked me to blow out the candles, that is after she sang to me. And then last night it transformed into a city when it was turned upside down and she called all of the attached pegs skyscrapers! I can't wait to see this one be continually transformed. I hope to see her do some patterning or grouping by size or something, we'll see, she really likes make believe and verbalizing so it just may continue to be new make believe things.

These plants used to be in our kitchen, she picked out the weird cactus herself one day and I assigned the other two plants to each of her brothers. We have sporadically watered them together, she waters her brothers' for them because they can't yet. She knows who's is who's and sometimes asks to do it. I moved them into this place so that we can water them EVERY Friday when she is home with me all day. It can be a science lesson AND a lesson in caring for something other than ourselves. I also plan on labeling each plant with their names so that she gets used to seeing the names and what they look like. Oooh, wouldn't a DIY plant pick labeled with each name be so cute sticking out of the dirt of each one, I just thought of that! There's an art project we could work on together.

Here in her reading/relaxation nook are some puzzles and some of her favorite books as of late, one of which is "Knuffle Bunny", she loves this book, we are definitely going to have to check out some of the other Knuffle Bunny books! I tried to only give a few choices and I will rotate them out. She has a very large and accessible bookcase in her room with all of her books if she wants to do just book time but for out here I wanted to keep it simple.

Here's one of the living room seating area's coffee table temporarily converted into another work area for her. One tray has balls of varying sizes, one of those round wire things for picking up eggs out of water (from her play kitchen) and a fabric bag. I showed the activity is to use the egg thingy to carry the balls and then place them in the fabric bag, it requires a lot of "skill" for a 2 year old: balancing the balls on the egg thingy and coordination of both hands (the other hand has to hold open the fabric bag) in a gentle and slow manner, it may be a bit advanced for her but she's trying. The other tray are some realistic looking rubber bugs and then a magnifying glass to examine them. This is kind of lame right now but I plan on getting her outside soon to get some nature items to replace these rubber insects AND we need to get a better magnifying glass.

This is such a great post, I had to share

2010-09-13T11:00:00.003-05:00

I usually try not to say much about things on my blog that could be "controversial" or really anything that may express strong opinions, I have never wanted this blog to be a place where I rant about the things I feel strongly about, I want it to be a place to talk about my kids to the few people (grandparents) :) who are interested. I also want it to be a place where I can feel comfortable to express my struggles with mothering and working, hoping that maybe there are others who read this who can relate. I really strive to be a person who is accepting of others and their choices, after all, it is their life. That's why I like this post, it strikes a good balance between empathy and issue. Check it out here.

5 months old ALREADY

2010-09-02T08:59:00.010-05:00

Isaac & Reed

Isaac
btw, the 1 stands for first born, not #1, they are both #1 in our book :)

Reed

To be completely truthful, the above pictures were actually taken when the boys were 4.5 months, I KNOW, I seem to be 1 month behind on all of the pictures I post yet writing about the present, it's a trend for sure. I'm not a very good photographer, never have been, I was by far the worst photography student in my college photo class. I have come to accept the frustration with being a poor picture taker but the timing thing, I've got to work on that. I have really wanted to blog about so many things in the last couple months, but the time to really sit down and clearly express my thoughts has just not been available. But now I've got the time so here we go...

The Boys:
Isaac- He is doing great! He is a chunkster, certainly bigger now than the above picture. I think he was about 14.5 lbs at his 4 month appointment. Now here's an example of the difference between myself as a mom with just Madeline versus now with the boys, I can't tell you all of the boys' exact stats, well because I don't remember where I've been keeping their health cards, where it's all written down, I don't have time to find them and I certainly don't remember the stats from a month ago. With Madeline I was right on schedule with posting her stats, all of her stats, weight/length/head circumference and percentiles. I'm actually relieved that I'm not getting caught up on those things and the obsession with the boys meeting "milestones", I'll speak more to that in a later post. I digress, back to Isaac. He is our cat napper, giggler and cuddler. We are convinced that if he could have it his way, he'd be an only child. He likes it best when it is just Jake and I with him and neither of his siblings are there to get in the way. He ALWAYS wakes up first in the morning, on a good day it's at 6am, on most days its around 5:30am!! Ugh. He wakes up, I nurse him and then he has a good half hour of just mommy and daddy time, he LOVES it! I have never seen a baby so young, yet so ticklish...seriously, he was ticklish at 3 months old. And not just on his belly, he's ticklish everywhere, he is such a giggler and just loves interaction. He's one of those babies who doesn't like to be put down or "ignored". The moment you say something to him if he is starting to fuss, he just grins such a cute grin just wanting to be picked up and cuddled. I think being a twin is good for him, he is forced to wait for some attention, if he was an only child or even the only baby for that matter, I think we could have ended up with a real co-dependent kid on our hands. He is such a cat napper, he doesn't nap very well during the day, he takes 3 naps but they are usually not very long and it takes a long time for him to settle, not because he can't go to sleep but because he'd rather be up with me just hanging out, playing with toys, moving around and cuddling. One thing I will say about Isaac, he could be very tired and not had much sleep but if you are interacting with him, he is happy. Isaac is VERY active, he is constantly rolling from side to side, reaching for and getting toys, scooting on his belly etc. I may really be chasing him very soon. He is also someone who can dish it but can't take it. When he is laying next to Reed, he is constantly messing with him, tapping him, pulling on him, taking toys, but if Reed or Madeline were to really mess with him, he doesn't like it, it's pretty funny. I am already telling him to not take Reed's toys, saying "He's playing with that right now Isaac, you play with this." In general, Isaac is a CUTEY and a real pleasure, his giggles make me smile and he giggles a lot, which is super important when it comes to dealing with 3 children under 3.

Reed- Wow, there is so much to tell about Reed. He had a very rough first 4 months of life. I'm sure I mentioned in earlier posts how he suffered from reflux but I'm not sure if I said how severely he suffered. It was VERY bad. I would say that for the first 4 months of his life he was unhappy and arching his back for about 80% of the day and this was while being on medicine, it was so sad and very difficult to handle. We started him on the medicine when he was about a month old, it was a dosage based on weight, so eventually he would start to get very unhappy again, we'd have him re-weighed and then they would increase the dose, it would seem to help a bit but then he'd start really hurting again, we'd increase the dose and so on, it was truly a viscous cycle, one in which we were just chasing his pain and trying to manage it. He was having a very difficult time with soothing himself and we noticed that his movements were very stiff and newbornish still into his 3rd month. I don't want to compare the boys but it's easy to notice differences in development between to babies being given the same care at the same age, their development gap was starting to widen and I was getting worried. Jake and I were waiting for the 3 month mark, the time at which a baby is able to self sooth and usually seems to calm down and get beyond his tummy/esophageal issues, that time came and went and we were approaching 4 months. The weekend before Reed turned 4 months, he had a miserable 4 days! Jake and I decided that we were going to request a referral to a GI specialist and ask our pediatrician for a change in medicine to something stronger. By Tuesday, he was on a stronger medicine and by Thursday, he was a different child COMPLETELY. That is actually when it really hit me as to how much he had missed in life by being so upset all of the time. In a 2 day time period his development increased seriously 5 fold, he was cooing, he was smiling more etc. The one thing I still thought was an issue was his physical development. Let me move backwards a bit...that same week when his meds were changed, he had his 4 month check up and we found out he had gained less than a pound in 2 months!!! I was so worried, it seemed that he was cutting himself off from feeding because of pain and so I was then making less milk on the side I always nursed him. I was still nursing Isaac and he was fine, it was just Reed's fear of pain. We started really packing on the formula calories using a special formula for babies with milk protein allergies, when we went back for a weight check 1 week later, he had gained almost 2 pounds! His medicine was helping and he was less afraid to eat, it was a great development...now back to the physical development. It seems that because he arched so much, he learned to do everything the wrong way, using the wrong muscles so now he has to re-learn the correct way. He is working with a physical therapist once a week and an occupational therapist as well for some underlying sensory issues. Because he was in such pain for so long, he didn't fully learn to sooth himself when he is REALLY worked up, without some intervention, namely a pacifier, he just can't calm himself down. So, all in all, Reed is back on track and he should be caught up very soon. The sad part to me is that we didn't really get to know Reed until after he was 4 months old and finally found medicine that would help him. Come to find out he is SUPER laid back and easy going, he's a great sleeper and eater and IN LOVE with his big sis. In fact, I'd say, other than his short spurts of issues with self soothing, he's now the easiest of all three. He sleeps the longest for naps and latest in the morning and he is the most tolerant of others. He's such a smiley guy and relatively independent. He loves people but doesn't have to be held all of the time, he's real good at entertaining himself for a while. He is VERY observant and is really into books being read to him, smiling big when a person's voice changes while telling the story. It is truly amazing how important it is for a baby to be able to take in the world, they need every minute of it to be able to develop. Reedy is a blessing for sure!

Both boys are mainly being fed formula, except for one feeding I give Isaac in the mornings. They have also started on some food recently and are doing great, gaining weight, and changing everyday, they are SO fun and total cuties, but of course I'm a bit biased. :)

Insert blog name HERE

2010-07-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

{Madeline's first day}
At this point she didn't really know what she was getting into, hence the happy face.

Two weeks ago Madeline started going to "playschool" at a Montessori school near our house. I had heard amazing reviews from parents on this school and I had gone to tour it. It really is fantastic, it has been around for 25 years, the director, who is the daughter of the founder, is amazing and her own kids attend the school. The teacher to child ratio is very low and the entire atmosphere is very warm and fosters imagination. They serve all organic meals (included in the tuition) from a peanut-free kitchen. We couldn't be happier with our choice!

When we lived in the city, we had a nanny who came to our house 3 times a week for half days, that way I could work. For those of you who don't know, I am a part-time freelance product designer for the same company I used to work for full-time. I need to bill about 20 hrs/week so having the part-time nanny (Aleasha) worked well when it was only Madeline. Well, Aleasha had to quite and move back home (not Chicago) for financial reasons. We were VERY sad, Madeline had grown very attached to her and she was AWESOME with Madeline. Aleasha was young and fun and had so much energy, she and Madeline were pretty much BFF :). Since we were moving to a new town and the boys were now in the picture we thought it would be better for Madeline to go to a school-like environment, some place that would stay consistent (you never know when a nanny may quit) and someplace where she could have more interaction with other children and learn some more social and life skills, two very large components of Montessori thought and something I think is perfect for a 2-3 year old. She attends Montessori Children's Academy 3 full days a week and we are planning on extending it to 4 full days (OH MY GOSH, I can feel the mom guilt and worry of what others will think of me welling up as I type that, eek!!) So all of the above explanation is what brought us to MCA. Ok, those are the facts and now here are my (and Madeline's) emotions and all of my over-thinking...

If I ever gave anyone the impression that life with a 2 year old and twin 4 month olds was easy, I am so VERY sorry to mislead! I mean seriously, I'm doing it but some days it feels as though I am barely surviving. If it's just Madeline, I'm good. If it's just the boys, I'm good but all three is just plain hard. Of course some days are better than others, but I think what makes it all harder is my pursuit of perfection in ALL that I do. Consciously I am aware that this perfection is completely unattainable but for some reason it gets me every time. Madeline just needs more from me and I can't give it to her. It is SO important to stay on point, one misstep or moment of nonchalance and seriously the entire day can go to hell! So with this Madeline does not get that much one on one with me. It really bothers me to say that and I feel like, am I just incompetent? Why can't I do it all, it saddens me to say that t.v. has been essential and her main "friend" these days. Again, I am feeling more mom guilt and shame for even sharing that tid-bit of info! But it is true. And so her going to playschool is really SO good for her, it gives her what I can't right now. An example of how bad it is for her is what happened yesterday. The boys had just gone down for their 3rd nap and had only been sleeping a half hour, and then Madeline woke up from her nap. I thought it would be great to get her shoes on immediately and go in the backyard to swing, I thought we would for sure sure have lots of time to play together, just the two of us. We got our shoes on quickly, trying to savor any moment we might have, and started swinging. Not 10 minutes in Reed's screams echoed through the monitor. So we had to come inside. I said, "Sorry Madeline but we have come inside your brother is crying." She was so cooperative but obviously defeated feeling. I felt so bad for her so instead of staying inside trying to get him to go back to sleep, I strapped him on me in the Baby Bjorn and we went back outside, but I wasn't really able to do as much with her now, he was very fussy. She had kind of already given up and lost the excitement and wanted to go back inside. :( I often (only to Jake, my close friend Cassell and my mom, well and now ALL of you) say that if I just had one, not that I don't want both my boys, they are awesome BUT if I just had one, I think I could strap him onto me and we could go places but having two is just so hard. Maybe I say that as a way to make myself feel better for not being able to do much at all with all three of them. For example, one Friday, the first week that Madeline was going to playschool (that was my first mistake). I accepted an invitation to meet my friend and her two kids at the park. First of all it was so hot, then I didn't bring the stroller because it had been dismantled in the move and not put back together yet, so I was carrying two car seats around a playground (BRUTAL). Madeline was EXHAUSTED, I mean zombie exhausted and really going through the emotions of separation from me. So I seriously couldn't physically do it, if she had an issue, I'd have to either carry the car seats over to her or leave them or, oh geez it was crazy. Seriously, I cannot believe we went, I didn't plan ahead well, all three of my kids were out of sorts and really I think most of all I was out of sorts. That first week of playschool put a BIG strain on me physically and emotionally as well. At the school you have to walk your child into the classroom, well Jake and I don't have any help here, no family in Chicago at all. So I was lugging 2 car seats in and out of the car, up stairs and through doors every morning and afternoon for drop off and pick up. AND don't let the seemingly happy face above fool you, Madeline has cried every morning so far. It has been really difficult. And then to top it all off, she seems to be suddenly socially reserved and get this, quiet. It just so happens that I have had a few play dates and we had a weekend get together since she has started playschool. Maybe all of this sudden social life has overwhelmed her or maybe she is actually a shy little girl and we just didn't know it, but she just hasn't really interacted and been her normally very chatty self. Also, she has been so tired from all the activity at school and the fact that she doesn't nap very long there, napping on a cot is VERY new to her. Not to mention the fact that she really started acting up with me, spitting her milk on the floor, being slightly aggressive to her brothers and other kids. It was like who took my sweet little loving girl and replaced her with this child I didn't know. It was really worrying me and I was concerned, was she misbehaving at school as well? So, I set up a call with the teacher. She said she was quiet and reserved but did participate and obviously liked books. She said she was slowly making friends with a little girl named Chloe and that she hadn't misbehaved, yet. So, with all of this I have had to really do some mother soul searching. Here is what I have discovered. First, it is normal for kids to have some issues when there is so much change going on: 1)new house/town 2)new twin baby brothers who "stole" her mommy 3) and now going to playschool. No wonder she is being "different" and having some issues. Then the other thing is the realization that I need to accept my children for who they are, not for what I think they should be. Maybe she's shy. It's hard for me to relate to that, I wasn't nor am I now shy at all. I guess I had always seen her as being outgoing, but maybe she isn't, and that's ok. I have also had to find some acceptance of myself. I am not superwoman, I am not a bad mother for sending Madeline to playschool, I can't do it all and that's ok. Phew, this post has been brewing in my head for 3 weeks now, I'm sure I left out some of my thoughts, but jeesh this is probably plenty for you to read, that is if you are actually still reading, you may have quit by now it's so long, thanks for being here for me blog, I needed that.

Homemade Sidewalk Chalk!

2010-07-15T13:23:00.004-05:00

I found this recipe for homemade sidewalk chalk at Ohdeedoh via this blog. Check it out!

I'm gonna try it, now that I have a driveway and sidewalks. :) Ahhhh the suburbs, good stuff.

Official Suburbanites

2010-07-07T11:34:00.004-05:00

Madeline's "Treasure Chest"

Now this is a post that is LONG overdue. We finally got moved, actually it was about a month ago. Both of our parents came and helped us pack up and look after our clan. We moved to Elmhurst, Illinois a town of about 45,000 about 10 miles outside of Chicago. It really is a beautiful town with a great school system and we love the neighborhood we ended up in. The house is a mid-century modern ranch with a HUGE backyard and lots of space inside. There are lots of things I'd like to do to the place and we are nowhere near completion with unpacking but we are getting it done a little at a time. I got the kid's rooms and the kitchen (Jake's mom did this) organized so that was really important but nothing is really decorated, though I have LOTS of plans. Hopefully we'll be getting that done soon and I can post some pics as I go along. It has been awesome to have so much space for Madeline both inside and out. She already found a nook in a tree outside where she keeps her "treasures" gathered from around the yard, she calls it her "treasure chest". It has been a whirlwind transition but things have been going very well. The boys are doing great, sleeping through the night now consistently from 7pm-5am and then going back to bed until around 8am, sometimes even 9am! That has been really helpful. They are on a 3 naps/day schedule and are both thriving with this routine. We found out the hard way two Sundays ago that Madeline is allergic to peanuts. I gave her her first pb&j sandwich and her face immediately began breaking out in hives, I rushed her to the ER where she began swelling which they told me indicated a more severe allergy. Poor baby girl had to get an IV and be given doses of medicine. She was SO unbelievably brave. She didn't even cry when she got the IV, I was so proud of her and all of the hospital staff told her how impressed they were with how tough she was, she liked that. :) It was sad though because when they started administering the medicine she threw up, which was the first time she had ever thrown up, that scared her a lot and she did cry then. But she got over it and we sat there while the medicine was slowly being administered over a half hour time period and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on the t.v. This peanut allergy sure does change things, I now carry around fast melt Benadryl at all times and we are on high alert, its amazing how many things contain peanuts. We will be going to an allergist to see if there are other things she may also be allergic to. In general, it has been a great move and we are thrilled to have more space, though it is all taking some time to get used to that's for sure. LOTS of change for us lately, but we are all taking it in stride and becoming a closer family because of it.

2 years old!!

2010-07-07T11:30:00.000-05:00

On June 30th our sweet Madeline turned 2!!! Can you even believe it? She is getting so big and smart, man she is smart :). I decorated the house the night before with her banners I had made for her 1st birthday party and we put together the play kitchen we bought her. We had a pretty low key day, we did a lot of playing outside together and just spending time together. Her brothers gave her the best present of all, they were cooperative and napped so that I was able to really give attention to my little girl. Jake went by the cupcake shop in downtown Elmhurst after he got off the train to get her custom blueberry flavored cupcake we had made special for her. We fixed spaghetti for dinner, her favorite, and then because the boys went to bed pretty quickly we went in the backyard and ran around, just the three of us. Oh and I gave her some of my orange juice which was a BIG treat, she doesn't drink juice so when she can, she can't seem to get enough of it, as you can see from the photos, she was trying to get every last drop. Jake and I started feeling nostalgic of when it was just the three of us living in the city, it can still get me choked up. Not that we don't love the boys, of course we do and are so glad they are with us, it was just, let's say simpler back then. I remember the day we brought her home from the hospital, our precious blessing we had tried so hard and for so long to have. And now everyday we've spent with her has just been the best. Her personality is infectious, she says the funniest things and she is so loving. She and I have started spending really nice times together every night just before she goes to bed, we cuddle, read books and sing. It's nice quiet time that makes me feel so grateful for the life I have and the time I am able to spend with my Mitzy, my little best friend. Happy Birthday Madeline, we love you so very much!

The Boys

2010-07-06T11:56:00.004-05:00

Here they are, the boys (L-Reed & R-Isaac). This photo above is actually several weeks old so you can imagine that they are even bigger now but this is cute and I don't have any real recent ones of both of them so this will have to do for now. I am finally getting back into the swing of things, so blogging should become more regular and less catch up. Reed and Isaac are getting much easier, they are so much further along with self soothing, which is key. Just this last weekend we were in Springfield for the fourth of July and we took them to a pool party, they were perfect little angels, we set up a place for them to nap inside the house which helped but the entire experience was encouraging and got me feeling less afraid of actually venturing out with them. I'm still nursing them both and that's going well, they have become much more efficient eaters which helps when there is a 2 yr. old running around that I need to keep tabs on. I just love them both SO much I mean really they are just so CUTE!!! Here's a bit more about each one of them:

REED-
He's our wiry fella, long and skinny, active and strong (just like in the womb, remember?). He was weighed a week and a half ago and was 11 lbs, 7 oz. He is completely what you see is what you get, when he's upset, you know it (oh my gosh he has a loud cry!), when he's happy, you know it. He smiles constantly and it is the cutest most howdy doody smile you've ever seen, he likes to flash those gums of his. He coos, but not like his brother (we'll get to that next). Reed has had some troubles though. He suffers from really bad reflux, he will arch is back so much that he will almost touch his feet to his head, it's acrobatic. He's on medicine for it and it does seem to help but it's still painful to him I know :(. He also really favors one side, which I guess is rather common in twins because of positioning in the womb. He was starting to get minor head flattening on his left side and then I was concerned that he may have torticolis (also common in twins) because I was noticing him tilting his head as well. I decided to take him to see a physical therapist for all of this. The PT said that he does not suffer from torticolis, which is good but he does have some neck tightness so she has been working on that with him and we are all working on trying to get him to stop favoring the one side when sleeping, that's hard though, you get him to turn his head the other way and then he turns back while sleeping. Also poor baby boy's right ear is misshapen, almost as if it did not fully grow. The thought is that maybe his positioning in the womb, while the ear was growing, was impeding its development. I am trying to get into an ENT to look into that so we can see how the inner ear is, that is the real concern. Though he seems to hear well so that's a good sign and he is hitting all of his developmental milestones which is also encouraging.

ISAAC-
He's our big boy, not sure exactly how much he weighs but he has stayed around 1 lb. heavier than Reed so that would put him at around 13 lbs. Isaac is a very chill baby for the most part and he is a talker, he coos constantly: while he's eating, in his crib alone in the morning, all the time. He doesn't smile as big as Reed, its more of a grin, but that sweet grin just melts your heart. Like I said, he's laid back usually but if he gets over-tired he is VERY difficult to console. Its like he just sits with it and sits with it and then just explodes!! He's doing well and he is so handsome, well I think so.

Nurturing Nature

2010-06-17T15:59:00.005-05:00

I found this article via this post on Babyccino Kids, a blog I really love for all of its content: everything from child rearing to fashion to toys. The article got me thinking even more about something that has been on my mind a lot since becoming a mom, but I'd say even more so since Madeline was about 18 months old. Once Madeline turned 18 months it just seemed as though I wasn't going to be enough to really spawn the imagination and energy that was welling up inside of her. The fact that I was SO pregnant with the boys only increased my inability to "keep up" and my mom guilt was building at warp speed. Then put on top of that the fact that we lived in the city in the dead of winter, which is brutal in Chicago, I was in deep reflection mode. I was craving outdoor space for my daughter and, at the time, future baby boys, just like I had when I grew up. When I was in elementary school I lived in a very small town in Northern New Jersey called Clinton. The photo above, that's Clinton, I'm serious. It was the MOST picturesque town and a great place to grow up as a young child. Well to begin with we were attending a phenomenal elementary school that truly fostered imagination and creativity. And we also had some neighbors, 2 sisters, Leigh and Kate, who my sister and I were inseparable with. We played outside all of the time, and I don't mean just in the backyard, we actually played in open fields and in the woods, following the creek to downtown and climbing trees. We would pretend we were people living in the olden days, living off the land :). My childhood memories are so rich and fond and I so want that for my kids. This article got me thinking about that. I feel so grateful that we are now finally out of the city and into a house with a HUGE backyard, but this article talks about kids needing more than just back yards. They need room to explore and use their imaginations, has our society changed so much that letting our kids just "run the woods" is more scary than worth it. I know the thought of Madeline just being free to walk the woods scares me to death, maybe I'll come around though. Read the article, tell me your thoughts.

Tepees!

2010-05-25T12:13:00.010-05:00

I saw one image (the first one shown) of a tepee in a kid's room and just knew I would have to construct one for the boys. And actually not just the boys, Madeline will love it NOW. Of course after seeing one image, they are everywhere in the blogosphere, in fact just yesterday on Design Sponge, 2 of the 3 total sneak peaks had tepees in the kids' rooms! Normally I don't like to go with what becomes the norm but this would be so fun for my kids that I'll be decoratively "main-stream", just this once. ;) One thing for sure, I'm going to try and find a really neat print fabric for the Strawn tepee. I even found a tutorial on how to make your own, check it out right here.

Yep, It's true

2010-05-19T16:28:00.004-05:00

Today I took all 3 children to Target all by myself, this was HUGE for me. It took a lot of planning and I had to really be efficient with my time management but the stars aligned and we were there for 1 whole hour, and well then things took a turn. By the time we walked in the door there were 3 meltdowns going on, 2 because well they are infants who just meltdown and one because Madeline kept dragging her feet on the ground while sitting in our monstrosity of a stroller, after me repeatedly telling her to stop, and without me knowing, she was doing it again and her foot got bent back as I was pulling the stroller out of the elevator. So, I'm sure that hurt her and it didn't help it was nap time. When we entered our condo door the crying level was piercing, these are the moments I do the following breathing mantra, breath in, "accept", breath out, "let go". When the crying gets like that, I get silent, withdraw within and just get into gear with getting done what needs to be done to remedy the situation: I kiss Madeline's foot and have a brief discussion about how that's why I tell her not to drag her feet, read her a book, and put her down for a nap. All the while the boys are in bouncy seats absolutely screaming. I then attend to them: change both diapers and then go about the business of getting set up to tandem nurse two babies, still screaming by the way. And then whew, silence throughout the house. But the best part of all, after nursing and my having some time to actually have a bit of one-on-one time with each of them, the boys went to sleep !!! Reed is almost able to self soothe as long as he is put down before he gets over tired, Isaac on the other hand not so much. I have found a new best friend when it comes to him, the Baby Bjorn, a total lifesaver! If he doesn't settle when I put him down in the crib, I strap him on and proceed to do things like straighten up, he will pass out and then he transfers well to the bed without waking, that whole technique was a whale of a discovery, a real sanity saver. So guess what, I was able to read some, do a bit of work and BLOG this entry. I am feeling powerful, accomplished and pseudo-serene. We'll see what the rest of the day and evening bring but for now, I can breathe, that's nice. :)

Just the Facts

2010-05-18T14:44:00.003-05:00

How are the boys doing? How is Madeline handling being a big sister? How am I doing? When can we come meet the boys? These are the questions I have been getting from all of our caring friends and family, I have not been good about providing the answers, I've been holed up in my home just frankly surviving and trying to sustain the lives of 3 other people, its really just that basic these days. All in all, its going pretty well so here are the answers:
The boys are great, growing like weeds, Isaac was 9lbs at his 1 month appointment and Reed was 8lbs. They are our scrapper (Reed) and bruiser (Isaac), with Reed being longer and slimmer and Isaac being shorter and fatter. :) I can't wait to see what they weigh in a week from now at their 2 month visit, I'll let you know. I am still nursing and its going very well, I continue to nurse them together at night time and then it depends during the day, who knows where the "schedule" will take us. They both suffered from some pretty bad reflux, Isaac's being a bit worse, so the pediatrician put them on some medicine to help with their discomfort which did cut down on some of the crying. For a while there though, even after starting the reflux medicine, if Reed was awake he was crying, it was really difficult, especially considering his crying decibel level, whoa! I talked to the pediatrician about it and she suggested I cut out all dairy and soy, which was a bit challenging, but really a healthier diet for me as well. Since I did that, he is doing SO much better, which is also VERY helpful. He was actually difficult to be around, when all he did was cry it was hard to really bond with him. Now, he is like a different kid, or rather his true self I suppose. Both of them are smiling now a lot, all you have to do is smile at them and they will reciprocate immediately. It was so awesome when that started, it was a glimmer of that light I speak of in the next post.
Madeline continues to be the best big sister. She always wants to share information with her brothers. I will go and get her in the morning, we'll start talking about a book or toy and then she'll say, "I go show brothers". :) She always brings them books or toys and kisses them. She wants to rock them and burp them and hold them. All of this I try to let her do, well at least in the way she is able, you know with supervision while seated and with some help. She is so cooperative when I have to do heavy soothing, she is really learning independent play, I think partly because she has to but I also think it is her age, it maybe would've happened anyway. One thing I HATE is that I have really had to use the tv a lot, thank you Dora. I hope to get back to limiting that more after the boys get a bit older. Madeline continues to talk up a storm, she speaks completely in full sentences, she says her ABC's and can recognize all her letters, colors, numbers and shapes! She is such an imaginative little girl, she'll tell me that a ladybug has landed on her hand, "look mommy" and then I'll go to "kiss" it and she'll say, "Oh, it flew away", I'll say, "you better catch it" and then she catches it. And there is so much more she says and does that amazes me daily and makes me smile. It's going to be so fun to see her brothers develop their own personalities, I can't wait! She is doing so well with pottying on the toilet, I have really done nothing to work with her on this, yet she will tell me when she has to go then go into the bathroom, put the seat up on the toilet and then go, both pee and poop. Ok, that might be TMI for some people but I know many mommies who read this so they won't mind, they understand the importance of these events. I probably need to get her some pull ups, another form of mom guilt, not focusing and working with her on the whole potty training thing. All in all, Madeline is doing so well, much better than me at dealing with this new transition.
And well I am doing as well as can be expected I guess. :) Some very good news though, we have a contract on our condo and have our eyes on a house in the beautiful Chicago suburb of Elmhurst. The house is a mid-century modern gem on a huge lot. I look forward to slowly re-doing it and have grand plans of blogging a bunch of before and afters we'll see if that pans out, don't hold your breath. I am looking forward to more room and a big yard for Madeline to play in this Summer. Jake and I are hanging in there, one day at a time, thank goodness we have each other and supportive families.
Oh and feel free to come meet the boys, just please don't expect a real clean house or well kept mommy either, in fact you may find yourself in the midst of stressful chaos.

Hello world, are you out there?

2010-05-18T02:56:00.007-05:00

Taking care of newborn twins and a toddler is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is so challenging both physically and mentally. I assume that most can imagine the difficulties of dual 7 week old meltdowns while a little 22 month old must also be supervised. I have been planning on blogging for so long now, knowing that doing so would be "therapy" in itself but I honestly did not know where to begin, I guess I'll start with this statement: I have never really been a newborn baby person. Ugh, doesn't that sound awful? I'm not just saying that now because I am in the thick of it, I have always felt that way, but then once they turn 3.5-4 months, it just gets better and better. But honestly this stage is REALLY challenging, at least for me it is. Yes, they are definitely adorable and sweet but they cry a lot and they can't really tell you what they want and frankly sometimes it feels like they hate you. This stage can really get me (more than any other I have experienced thus far, teenage years have not yet arrived) into the feeling of total incompetence as a mother. I'm trying to learn them, they are trying to learn me, they can't "tell" me what they need and sometimes I feel like there is nothing more I can do to help them, I have exhausted all of my tricks of the trade: swaddling, shushing, swaying, holding, shielding the eyes from light, patting the tush, pacifier. And all of this is being done times 2 on very little sleep. Wow, I really hope this doesn't sound like complaining because it's really not how I feel, well at least not today. Today I feel grateful, that's probably the only reason I am able to blog, if I felt bitter and crying (which I have had those days) I don't think I could have the clarity of mind to even type at all. I feel grateful for the most amazing little girl who when I tell her for the millionth time that I have to go into to check on her brother, aka deal with screaming, she says "ok mommy, I stay right here and color". She really has been AMAZING. My biggest mom guilt is that I have had a hard time with taking out my frustrations with the boys crying all day on her. When she does something that needs to be corrected or she needs to be disciplined, I fear that I am too short tempered and harsh in my tone, and then the pain I feel for doing that is overwhelming. She really gets the brunt of it. Last weekend I had hit my limit, you see during the week it is just me at home with all 3 of them and I was feeling so overwhelmed, I couldn't get clarity, I couldn't see that "this too shall pass". I KNEW it was time to call my mom and ask her to come back for a few days just to have someone else deal with soothing the boys part of the time, I needed help. Of course, because she is the best mom anyone could ask for, she arrived the next morning from Kansas ready to help me. And she did, SO much. Just having that help, I found that I was not nearly as harsh with Madeline, I was back to my old self, having patience that when Madeline came along I remember being surprised I had as a mother. Just from that little bit of duty reprieve, I felt "refreshed", so I started back yesterday alone again, it was a bit rough but I feel better mentally. In the midst of all of this, 2 weeks ago I started back to work. It's been slow going, but I have managed to get in a few hours of work here and there. Thank goodness I work from home, can make my own schedule AND work for a company who understands my need to transition back into it all VERY slowly. My sister bought me a book back when I was pregnant with Madeline called, "THE TAO OF POOP; Keeping Your Sanity (And Your Soul) While Raising A Baby". I had started reading it then but didn't finish it. I picked it back up this time around and it really is so helpful, it's an honest account of motherhood and at least makes me realize I am not alone in all of my feelings as a mom. There is a part that says, "Go easy on yourself. You are undergoing a major life change, and this is the tunnel you have to go through to get to the light on the other side." I liked that analogy, the first 3 months is a tunnel of darkness that one has to go through to get to the light on the other side, and there is light, I KNOW that. All I have to do is look at my little girl for the proof.

Counting My Blessings

2010-03-26T21:26:00.006-05:00

1. My children: Madeline for being the BEST and most loving big sister EVER and for just being her, she makes me smile all day long with the funny things she says and does. My boys for being just exactly as they are, even during the difficult times, they are so PERFECTLY adorable. I love them, all 3, very much.

2. My husband, for being the most equal partner anyone could ever ask for in a marriage. He is the BEST and most hands-on dad. He is my best friend, the person I prefer to, well just hang out with. I love him very much.

3. Our family. We have the most supportive, understanding and loving parents who ADORE their grandchildren. We have amazing siblings and brother-in-laws who support us fully and love our children unconditionally. Oh, then the cousins, the BEST. We have wonderful great-grandmas who are interested in our lives, love us and our children. And then we have extended families of aunts, uncles and cousins who are also so supportive and caring. We love them all very much.

4. The fact that Madeline, the big sister, has been so pleasantly easy and cooperative, that was one of my biggest fears and we have been pleasantly surprised. So far. :)

5. The fact that our 2 boys seem to have totally different personalities, one seems chill (Isaac) and the other (Reed) is a bit more high maintenance. What would we do if both were high maintenance, yikes. Isaac doesn't even wake while Reed is having a complete meltdown and screaming, wow what a blessing.
*Remember when I said I was curious if my constantly moving Baby B and my chill Baby A would remain true outside the womb, so far, I was RIGHT.*

6. The suggestion I received from my friend Nicole, an experienced mother of twins, to nurse them together and get them on the same schedule, we have done that already and so far it IS key to sleep and sanity maintenance. Also for her pep talk about nursing twins, it CAN be done! Yay!

7. All of my friends who have been supportive and told me that our twins are beautiful, we think so. :)

8. Having twins AFTER already having one child, what a difference that has made in my confidence as a mother and my ability to let go, relax and move ahead flexibly with parenting.

9. The fact that today I woke up and my stomach only looked 4 months pregnant as opposed to yesterday when I looked 6 months pregnant, ugh. Now if my elephant leg swelling would go down, I didn't swell this much DURING the pregnancy, I feel like I have weights around my legs, double ugh.

10. For me, the c-section wasn't so bad. I am feeling better already. In fact, I think my recovery from Madeline's delivery may have been worse, or at least more prolonged. Of course that was my first child, see #8 for the reasoning behind that.

Those are just a few of the BLESSINGS that fill my life today.

Isaac & Reed

2010-03-26T19:21:00.008-05:00

Our sweet baby boys entered the world on Monday, March 22nd beginning at 9:04 am with the birth of Isaac David, he weighed 7lbs, 8oz and he was 19.5" long. He was followed by his brother, Reed Stephen, at 9:05 am who weighed 6lbs, 9oz and was also 19.5" long.
Because both boys were breach, they were delivered via cesarean section which I was actually quite nervous about, I delivered our daughter Madeline vaginally, and though it was a VERY rough labor (36 hrs., 4 hrs of pushing, fevers, forceps being threatened before the doctor had to physically turn her, lots of stitches) that's all I knew. The thought of being cut open kind of freaked me out. In fact in pre-op, before I walked back to get the anesthesia and start, I was telling Jake how I felt freaked out and seriously I was really feeling anxiety, like wanted to run freaked out. A cesarean is so, well clinical and sterile. I guess it has to be, it IS an operation, but it was just so much about "sign this release form" and "here are the possible risks", "are there any religious beliefs that would prevent you from receiving life-saving blood transfusions?" WHAT?! So, needless to say leading all the way up to hearing that first cry from Isaac, I was freaked. But then, it was all better. After hearing those cries and seeing my babies, after giving so much of my body for 38.5 weeks, having so much anticipation of meeting them and frankly just wanting to get it over with and then seeing their beautiful faces, all of the anxiety and fear drifted away.
Relief turned into a feeling of personal strength. Everyone in the hospital kept making comments about how big and healthy they were and how awesome it was that I brought them so far and how that's not the norm and I felt such a feeling of personal accomplishment and thought hey, "I can do this!" All those months of being so uncomfortable were so worth bringing healthy, strong baby boys into the world. And then I was able to nurse them right after delivery and they both latched immediately, it felt so great! We stayed in the hospital for 3 days, every day I felt better and every day Jake and I got better at dealing with twins. I figured out tandem feeding and got them started on nursing at that same time which we have continued now that we are home, they are already on the same schedule, which was suggested by another phenomenally helpful twin mom (thanks Nicole!). So now we are home. Our first night at home, last night, consisted of us getting up every 2.5 hrs to nurse them both, but it worked out and I was actually able to take a much-needed nap today for 2hrs which was fantastic! Do I believe that this will remain "perfect" absolutely not and I am certainly waiting for the other shoe to drop but so far I think the most important thing is that I keep a positive attitude knowing that when things get rough, because they will, I have to remember that this too shall pass. Am I weepy?, YES, did we have issues with Reed today not sleeping and crying ALOT, YES, but the things that make me cry are not out of sadness, it's when Madeline (The BEST big sister EVER!) says to the babies this morning, "Hi Isaac, Hi Reed, what you doin' today?" or when she wants to kiss and hug them. She has been unbelievably amazing with them. We have really tried to give her LOTS of one on one attention and include her as much as possible in the boy's care, we are trying to still eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with her and we are trying to BOTH read her before nap and nighttime book to her like we always have. So far, she has been amazingly cooperative, playing on her own when we are, for example, working together to get them nursing and then changing diapers. There have already been those times when she got a bit intense with them and even one time she used Isaac's head to break her fall, yikes! But all in all that is bound to happen and we just have make sure we don't do too much of keeping her away from them and scolding for her just trying to show love. Everyday will be a constant changing and evolving experience of amazing moments and difficult days but Jake and I are ready for it, no matter how exhausted we are doing it, I'm just taking one day and sometimes, one hour, at a time.

Also if any of you moms of boys have any suggestions for prevention of boys peeing everywhere, EVERY time you change a diaper, we are open for pointers, jeesh, people say changing boys is easier, we beg to differ! We try and cover up but it doesn't even seem to really help, what do you cover up with? Suggestions would be appreciated. :)

Our Sweet Mitzy

2010-03-19T10:26:00.009-05:00

Well, sweet girly bit, your life is about to change.

I decided on Wednesday that my goal for the next 5 days is to be completely present with Madeline. We've got things as ready as they can be for the boys so there's really nothing left to accomplish on that front. These last 5 days before the c-section we are just going to focus on our little girl. I'm so glad that this week we've had nice weather in Chicago and she was able to get to the park twice, with help from the nanny of course, my days of agility at the playground ceased 20 weeks ago.

Last night she was sitting on the couch with Jake and I and we were all talking to each other, I thought, and said, well your life is certainly going to change. It's so bittersweet. Of course I am looking forward to meeting the boys but honestly, I don't love them as much as I do Madeline, not yet at least. I know I will immediately, but at this point I just don't. Madeline is our VERY smart, talkative, comedic performer. She really just loves life and it is contagious. We love her SO much and she has brightened and bettered my life in ways that are difficult to describe. I know that when they first come home there will be some adjustment time, but as the days pass she will love her brothers and really enjoy having siblings, she is such a people person and the kind of kid who "needs" siblings. I hope she doesn't lose that sense of wonder at the world and that outgoing nature that makes her so unique and special.

We love you Madeline, you are our one and only little girl and Mom's best friend. We know that you'll be the BEST big sister.

btw, my c-section time has changed. It is now scheduled for 8:30am on Monday, March 22nd.

In the FINAL week

2010-03-16T21:15:00.004-05:00

I went in for a 37.5 week ultrasound and doctor's appointment. Let's just say that they are BIG baby boys. Baby A is still the much less active one of the two and is still breech he is also the larger of the two at a whopping 7lbs, 6oz! Baby B, also breech and my ALWAYS active and moving baby, has an estimated weight of 6lbs, 12oz. The doctor said that these weights are of course just estimates and usually with twins they will be a bit smaller than the estimated but that still makes them VERY big, especially for twins. They are healthy and still on schedule to be delivered via C-section on Monday, March 22nd at 3:30pm. Unfortunately I have acquired a cold, ugh, the last thing I need, as if I don't feel run down and weak enough. Lately the "cold" has gotten a bit worse which concerns my ObGyn only because I will be having surgery on Monday so if I don't feel better tomorrow, I have to go to a general doctor to make sure the virus hasn't turned into an infection, that way I can get on antibiotics asap. I REALLY hope I feel better tomorrow, the thought of going to another doctor's appointment is just daunting. We'll see, I of course will do what is best, thank goodness this is the last week of my twin pregnancy, thank goodness - we are ready to meet our baby boys!!

Update-uh, well, kind of

2010-03-09T15:44:00.002-06:00

Alright everyone (everyone, ha as if I have some huge group of followers bracing for my every post hee hee), anyway I had a doctor's appointment today, I was 36 weeks last Friday, and guess what? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I have not dilated at all and my sweet Baby A is still breech. So, there we have it. If I sound disappointed, it's because I kind of am. I KNOW, that sounds bad, I mean I'm only 36 weeks, they need to stay in there as long as possible and of course I want healthy babies but lordy I am hurtin' these days! Sleeping for long intervals has become nearly impossible, the weight of the babies make which ever hip I am laying on hurt A LOT, so I then need to roll over, which hurts A LOT, oh and then I realize I need to go to the restroom, and getting up and walking to the bathroom hurts A LOT. I am not on bed rest, which is very good, so I am still working from home, but nonetheless my motivation to work has gone way down knowing I could "go at any moment". But honestly, who am I kidding, I am not going to "go at any moment", these baby boys are going to stay in as long as they can, which IS a good thing. Over a month ago they both weighed 5 lbs, 1 oz. I have an ultrasound next Tuesday, I am expecting 7lbs each, at least, again another good thing, but my hips may disagree. :) Today at my appointment after my doctor measured my belly and checked my cervix she said "You were made to have twins." I don't know if that's a compliment or a curse, I guess it depends on what day you ask me. -----Deep breath----- I am scheduled do deliver 2 weeks from yesterday, March 22nd. Whether it's by c-section or otherwise, it will be as it should be and then the chaos of insta-3 kids will begin. Hey, whoever's reading this, thanks for letting me rant, I needed that.

Twins Update

2010-02-16T15:50:00.003-06:00

I was 33 weeks last Friday and went in today for a growth ultrasound and to meet with the doctor. Well, they are growing extremely well, both are the same size at 5 lbs, 1 oz! Oh my gosh, I have 10lbs, 2oz of baby in me right now and that doesn't even include the weight of each of their placentas and their umbilical fluid, yikes! They are both in the 66th percentile for their size, so they are above average, whoa! So, enough of all those exclamations and down to the logistics. Right now both babies are breech, in order for me to deliver them naturally, baby A needs to be head down. So we are at a crossroad where I am going to go ahead and schedule a C-Section at 38 weeks BUT baby A has up until the very last minute to turn and go head down. They will do an ultrasound on the day of the scheduled C-Section and if he is head down, the C-Section is cancelled and they will induce me and I can deliver naturally. The doctor said that the chance of Baby A turning after 38 weeks is next to impossible I am just going to go with what the doctor thinks on this, let go and try not to control the entire process. With all of that said, if I don't go before, we are looking at March 22nd for the day our boys enter into the world, it's gonna be an amazing experience. I plan to, in a joking way of course, let the doctor know that they can just go ahead and do a tummy tuck after the C-Section and hope that she will get my subliminal message and do it, hey it can't hurt to mention it right? Right.

Oh How She Grows-18 months

2010-02-06T07:40:00.004-06:00

Madeline had her 18 month check up a month ago and she is growing by leaps and bounds, she is in the 90th percentile for height and weight and the 97th for head! She continues to amaze me everyday with the sentences she is putting together and her astute observations, why just the other day we had a riveting conversation about who cries and how much...what?! She continues to be very active and has already started the terrible two's! She can be very defiant and we had to start implementing time outs which she decided to put her baby doll in a few weeks ago, taking her to the time out area and telling her to "sit right there" and then she walked away, wow. It was all I could do to not react by busting out laughing because it was so cute, but that's just all too much for a 19 month old! We are going to have our hands FULL! She LOVES to dance to music and continues to really enjoy books and drawing. She got a drawing table from Santa Claus and now she has her very own (well until her brother start getting involved) art nook. Honestly, there are stories I could tell everyday of the things she does and says that blows me away with pride and makes me laugh but that's just not gonna happen, but I will say this: Madeline has enriched my life in ways I never thought possible, I just love her so much, even when she is yelling "No Mommy!" and throwing herself on the ground in a fit. :)

The Boys

2010-02-06T07:29:00.004-06:00

Here is an updated ultrasound picture of the boys at about 30 weeks. These are actually head on face shots, twin A is a bit easier to decipher, look you can see his nose and eyes as actual form. What's even cuter is that their cheeks are starting to get a bit of chub to them, see how they kind bulge out a bit. The ultrasound tech pointed this out to me, telling me that they are starting to fatten up, this I know and FEEL. They are still very big babies, twin A was 2 lbs, 15 oz (55%) at this time and twin B was a whopping 3lbs, 4oz (71%). So that's just crazy considering that they have on average been nearly doubling each month! But these are all good things, they need to be big and stay in as long as possible. They continue to stay true to their "personalities" twin B is VERY active and twin A seems a bit more chill. Starting next week I will begin seeing the doctor every week and so now the countdown beings!

Baby steps toward change

2010-02-06T06:42:00.005-06:00

It's been FOREVER since I have blogged, I am certainly aware of that. And of course that Mom guilt creeps in when I realize that I am letting my daughter's and in-utero boys' changes and accomplishments just flash by without so much as an acknowledgement. I started this blog because I didn't have a traditional baby book for Madeline and thought what better way for me to document all of the milestones and let her know what I was going through myself but a blog. So I come to you again with guilt and duty, at least I came back. My very dear friend Cassell recently found out that she is pregnant with twins as well, we have been referring to each other as "soul sisters" for many years now because we are always on the same wavelength and can literally anticipate when the other one needs a phone call because something is going on that needs to be talked through, then of course there are those frivolous similar interests but it had all added up to be soul sisterdom, and now this, its just amazing and EXACTLY what I needed. It's so nice to have someone to go through something like this with. Every time I am able to share with her a tidbit of research I did or something I read it just reinforces it for myself and that maybe I can do this, maybe I am competent enough to handle a 2 yr old AND twin newborns. Through our conversations, she has also brought to light for me really how amazing this (being pregnant with twins) all is. It should be documented, the actual pregnancy process. So, here I am 32 weeks, just now coming to that realization. As I signed in this morning to write this post, I looked to see if I had any drafts that hadn't been published, I was just sure that I had attempted this several months ago, and sure enough there it was:

"Well, this won't be a fluff post, but I needed to write somewhere how I have been feeling the last few days, so tag, blog you're it. Three different things have been floating in my mind lately: (1) having the twins, Madeline, Jake and I all living in our small 2 bed/2 bath condo is depressing and overwhelming (2) Will I have the ability to be a good mom, or at least the mom I want to be, to all 3 of my children? (3) I'm already feeling a loss that come March it will no longer be just Madeline, the apple of our eye, the star of the show, her life will change forever and so will mine."

This was written on 10/21/09, So I was just into my 2nd trimester, finally able to somewhat wrap my mind around this notion which is my reality. My first trimester was so physically difficult for me, I was dealing with ALOT of sickness and fatigue, facing how my life would change was just something I couldn't do. Between my freelance job and taking care of Madeline, I just couldn't face it or plan or really even talk in length about it. Of course I was happy to be pregnant but I think I was feeling so poorly that I just couldn't fathom being able to take care of my daughter AND 2 babies and have my job, which I was just not willing to give up. I was barely able to take care of Madeline, which also served as a huge form of mom guilt. She really hadn't ever watched television until I got pregnant and then all of a sudden it was all she did as I laid on the couch next to her, trying to just "survive". Wait did that sound dramatic, I guess it was meant to, it sure felt dramatic at the time.

And now? It's different in many ways. As my 2nd trimester progressed I was able to get a grip and start planning things: what stroller to buy, what new vehicle to purchase and how to configure all the kids in our 2bed/2bath condo? I started researching products, taking measurements in our house and reading some twin books which I found to be helpful and I got to feeling better, which was HUGE. I will say that this energized time period of feeling better was somewhat fleeting, now I have gotten very large and it is getting uncomfortable to carry around these 2 big boys but at least my attitude for parenting twins has become more "can-do" and little less "shoot me know". We have made most all of the necessary purchases, we have reconfigured our condo to accommodate everyone (possible pictures to come when it is really all completed), and now I'm just ready to get started with being a mom to 3 kids. This last trimester has been tough on Madeline, her hands-on, active mom has turned into someone who can't pick her up unless necessary and as she enters her terrible two's, at only 19 months of age, it has started taking its toll on me as well. But with all this said, I know we can do this as a family, will it be difficult? YES. But we have to do it, right? No turning back now, no regrets, just moving forward. So with all that said, I am going to do something, I NEVER thought I would ever do and that is post a picture of my pregnant belly. I showed it to Cassell and her words encouraged me to be proud of it and remember what I said about documenting it all? Well here you are boys, this is what you did to your mom! :) It is amazing what a human body can handle, believe me, I'm living proof and I still have 8 weeks to go!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...

2009-12-09T10:24:00.014-06:00

...Christmas! Last weekend was truly holiday-filled. On Saturday we went downtown to check out the tree in Daley Plaza, uh they have really cut back this year and it is unfortunately not nearly as "plush" as it has been in the past years (think more Rockefeller Center-type tree), but it was still bright with lights and TALL, so plenty impressive for a 17 month old and that's all that really matters. Madeline got to sit on Santa's lap, she was somewhat confused with what was going on but we have been talking about him ever since so now she's comfortable enough now to just call him "Claus". She didn't cry and we got a great photo of her smiling! We walked around a bit downtown taking in the lights, decorated store windows and sipping cider, we'd like to try and do this every Christmas, we'll just have to see how the adventure changes when there's THREE kids to corral!
On Sunday we drove out to Honeybee Tree Farm north of Chicago and cut down our own Christmas tree, this is another thing we'd like to try and do every year, it was actually quite stress-free. We were able to just let Madeline run free without much worry and she really enjoyed herself. We found our "perfect" tree, brought it home and got to decorating it that night. Once it is totally complete, I'll post pictures of the final product. I bought this really cool pre-decorated kitchy wreath from Etsy, a few other ornaments from Etsy and a vintage tree topper on Ebay. I am waiting on them all to arrive and then I have a few other things to add and we should be on our way to a Chicago Strawns style Christmas, though it remains a true work in progress. I've decided to buy Christmas stuff I love as I go, so as to not just buy stuff for filler, but rather things that mean something to us as a family or are just frankly cool! I've got an ornament project for Mitzy and I to do this week, I'll post about them when completed, nothing special but still fun! So that's that, the Christmas spirit has certainly arrived here on Belmont Ave.

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-12-02T11:25:00.022-06:00

This year we went to Tucson, Arizona to be with my family for Thanksgiving. My uncle Buddy has a beautiful "hacienda" in the mountains of Oracle, AZ, just 30 minutes outside of Tucson. We stayed at a very quaint Bed & Breakfast very close to my uncle's place where we were served delicious breakfast every morning. Madeline had a wonderful time exploring the new terrain, meeting the "horseys" and playing with all of the "people", many of whom were meeting Mitzy for the first time. She was her usual social and extremely active self. All that activity made for an unfortunate run-in with a coffee table, providing her first goose egg. But she got over it quickly and was back to being the busy body we all know and LOVE!

Madeline's House

2009-12-02T11:17:00.009-06:00

It is so true how a cardboard box can be all a kid needs for entertainment. We turned a cardboard box into Madeline's playhouse and it has been a source of fun and art ever since.

It's A Boy, actually TWO Boys!

2009-11-13T14:45:00.004-06:00

Yep, that's right, we found out yesterday that we are having 2 boys! I don't know anything about raising boys, I have a daughter and I grew up with just one sister so that's a bit scary, and I'll have 2 of them! At the same time I am very excited about it all. I know that Madeline will be the best big sister, and it's kind of nice that she'll be the only girl, she'll always have her special place without anyone "stealing" her thunder. They are both VERY healthy, all the organs are developing perfectly, no signs of any issues whatsoever. They are also quite big. Baby A is 14oz (64th percentile) and Baby B is 12oz. (55th percentile). To put that into perspective, my friend Kelly had her 20 week ultrasound the day before me and her one baby is 14oz! Yeah so both of the boys are in line with healthy singleton growth...I'm gonna be HUGE when this pregnancy nears its end! So I was wrong when I thought one was a girl, but the personalities have continued to be consistent. Baby A, which has caught and now surpassed baby B in size, was again cooperative and calm, moving from position to position but nothing too extreme. Baby B, on the other hand, was moving constantly, in fact it made it very difficult for the ultrasound tech to get clear images of all his organs, he just wouldn't stay still! Oh my I worry about what that means for us when he is born, yikes. I will post ultrasound photos to this entry soon. I'll have to scan them in and I just couldn't wait to share our news!

Boy Stuff!!

2009-11-13T14:40:00.005-06:00

Halloween 2009

2009-11-03T08:51:00.005-06:00

photo updated 11.09.09, disposable cameras sure do take crappy pictures.

I just may be the lamest Mom ever. I started this blog, I was doing so well with updating it and then recently our camera broke and I haven't bought one since, I also haven't updated regularly at all. One can use the first trimester excuse for only so long, like for only as long as the 1st trimester actually lasts! So now here we are at Halloween when a Mom really needs a camera, and I am so lame that I had to buy a disposable camera which I didn't actually use on Halloween and instead will be having my child dress-up in her costume in the next few days, take a photo, wait probably a month to develop it at Walgreens, you know old school, then I'll update this entry. LAME. And just wait, there is more lameness to come, keep reading.
This Halloween Madeline was a bookworm, she was really cute and loved wearing her costume, in fact she had been trying it out for about 3 weeks leading up to Halloween, so by the time the 31st rolled around she was a pro at being a bookworm. On Halloween day we met with some other kids from our building and exchanged candy and then that night, we did nothing, see I told you, I'm a lame Mom. LAME. In our defense, we live in the city, like for real in the city, we don't know any of our neighbors in these houses that surround our building and Madeline had barely slept that day so by the time normal trick or treat time rolled around, she was exhausted! Not to mention the fact that there was a shooting of a pregnant woman a few short blocks from our house so maybe it was the right decision. Wait, I just made our neighborhood sound so dangerous and it's really not, that stuff just happens randomly in a city. It's just another way for me to rationalize my lameness.
On Sunday we went to our friend Dana and Justin's for their son Joe's 2nd birthday, and it was Halloween themed, so Madeline had another chance to dress up then, she had a blast! We of course spent our entire time chasing our daughter around the house, she is a major busy body and VERY active. So we got our exercise as well.
Like I said, I WILL post the photo of Madeline as a bookworm, but I won't promise when. Lame.

Another 1st birthday party feature

2009-10-27T14:46:00.002-05:00

Madeline's 1st birthday party has been featured on this great wedding/party/ event ideas blog, The Sweetest Occasion! Check out the feature right here. And be sure to peruse The Sweetest Occassion blog, it's chock full of fantastic ideas and inspiration. Thanks Cyd for the feature!

If anyone is interested in some personalized touches for their special occasion, please feel free to contact me for my rates.

Now making their blog debut...

2009-09-25T15:33:00.004-05:00

...here they are! Today they are 13wks and I had an ultrasound today, it was crazy to see them both moving so much. They are growing so quickly and so am I. So now let me share some individual observations of our growing babies.

Twin A (the first one featured): This is my calmer, smaller and seemingly more demure twin. She (I think she's a she) is usually napping when we have ultrasounds and doesn't move a lot. Of course this also has me filled with the mom worry because she was also the one that was a bit smaller in the beginning and had to do some catching up. From the measurements today, she is still a bit smaller but not by much. I already have a HUGE soft spot in my heart for her and am always rooting for her in my prayers.

Twin B (the second one featured): Now this baby on the other hand, is ALWAYS moving, the last 2 ultrasounds we had, he (I think he's a he) was moving the entire time, and look in the photo above, he's sucking his thumb! Isn't that cute. He has always been larger and had the obvious and very strong heartbeat, he's my fighter for sure and probably my trouble maker, God help us!

Well these are my observations now, we'll see how things progress and I may be completely wrong with the sexes of the the 2 of them. If I am, I will say sorry on record right here in advance. Sorry kids for saying you are something you're not. :) This would just be one of many mistakes I will make as a parent with these two, I'm sure of that.

I'll end with, can you even believe this, I have 2 humans inside me, crazy. CRAZY!

"hat"

2009-09-10T07:42:00.003-05:00

Hi, yep it's me, can you believe it? Just when I thought things were getting better, the end of last week was a variable freight train of fatigue and nausea so it has taken me a while but I am finally here to speak about my sweet Madeline. So much to update, well she is walking now, all over the place. Honestly she has been walking for a bit over a month now but I was just too laid up to post about it. The other awful thing is that our camera completely died so I don't have any adorable pictures of her walking for documentation. Note to self, I must film her today so as to not miss documenting her adorably-unique-widespread-sideways-arms-out gait. :) And in addition to that, she is talking like crazy, the favorite word these days being "hat". Honestly its not just the word its the object, she just loves them. She is quick to point them out everywhere, on people, in books and certainly on both her grandpas who just seem to emulate that favorite word of hers. It's common to hear the word "hat" first thing when we go get her in the morning, she just wants to start talking about them the moment she wakes up. Some other really funny phrases she has picked up are "Bless you" when someone sneezes, "I'm a cool girl" when wearing sunglasses or "Hi cool girl" when another is wearing sunglasses. She can tell you what sound all of the following animals make: cow, horse, dog, cat, owl, sheep, duck, rooster and monkey. Cat and rooster are by far my favorites. I didn't go over these with her, I just asked her randomly a bit at a time and to my surprise she knew them, its just from books and us talking about it. And there is so much more she says, its just amazing how well she communicates. She will try and get into conversations by repeating what you are saying, so we already need to watch what we say. She can tell me what she wants and needs, she signs all of the signs that we have done with her since birth. Its funny how she didn't start signing until after she started talking but hey, whatever works for her. Madeline is such a happy and social little girl, may she never lose her sense of wonder and joy.

Seeing Double

2009-08-28T17:16:00.004-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time my friends! There is A LOT new going on in our lives, the biggest being that I am pregnant, with TWINS!!! And this pregnancy, well it's been a real doozy. When I was pregnant with Madeline I had some nausea and fatigue but NOTHING like this! For the last 3 weeks I have just been basically surviving. It was getting so bad that I asked my both grandmas to come stay with me to help take care of Madeline, this was the only way I was going to be able to get any work done, work which had some pretty hefty deadlines looming. Before they arrived I was sleeping during both of Madeline's naps, so I was getting NOTHING done, this includes showers, which made me feel like I was going to pass out, it was crazy. When I was hungry it made me sick, then when I would eat it made me sick, AWFUL. Jake's mom came for week 7 and my mom came for week 8. I am SO grateful for their help, I was able to meet my deadlines AND sleep. The doctor gave me some anti-nausea medicine in week 7 which helped a lot, so that was good. I am 9 weeks today, I still feel incredibly fatigued but the nausea has tempered to a more bearable level, without the medicine. Hopefully I am turning the corner towards normal!
With all of this news, we have put our 2 bed/2bath condo on the market, which is a whole other depressing housing market issue. We are bracing ourselves for all that may come with having twins. We certainly need more space, a new car AND I need to get to reading books. I am a big researcher and love to have as much info at my fingertips when entering a new situation, hopefully I can start feeling better and get to reading. Until then, welcome to my "coming out from under a rock party", I'll keep you all posted on the upcoming events of this crazy new plot twist.

p.s. I was going to scan in an ultrasound photo which would've been a real nice addition, but honestly, this post is all I can muster at this time. Sorry folks, I'll post one at 12 weeks, I promise.

Pretty

2009-07-17T10:20:00.004-05:00

What a lovely little girl's room! I really like the mix of traditional and modern.

"Nana!"

2009-07-16T20:57:00.005-05:00

Madeline asks for a "nana" (banana) at least twice a day and Jake brings 2 bananas to work EVERY day and then I eat my fair share. It is not rare for us to go through 3 bundles before the week is over, so this video is a perfect tid-bit for the Strawns! I just had to share.
Abre uma banana como um macaco @ Yahoo! Video

Madeline's Party

2009-07-16T13:27:00.002-05:00

Madeline's birthday party was featured on the Smock Paper blog, check it out here!

Go Cubs!

2009-07-10T16:41:00.011-05:00

Last Sunday we took Madeline to her very first Cubs game and she loved it! I mean really its a stadium full lots of people to talk to and clap along with, what's not to love. She skipped her afternoon nap and as you can see below she was wiped out afterward, asleep before we even made it to the car. This was the first of many Cubs games she will experience in her life, I mean after all, look who her father is, she WILL be a Cubs fan! :) They won, Mitzy must be a good luck charm.

Lazy Summer Days

2009-07-10T16:13:00.007-05:00

I think you have to live in a large city and experience a miserable Winter to really understand how wonderful it is when Summer finally arrives. Last weekend it meant Madeline's first trip to the zoo and lounging in the park afterward. Open green space is hard to come by around here so when we can get it, we savor it. Madeline had fun, and so did we.

Oh How She Grows-12 months

2009-07-02T17:07:00.004-05:00

Madeline was 12 months old on June 30th and on her birthday (I know not a fun thing to do on one's birthday) we went to her 12 month doctor's appointment. She now weighs 22lbs, 9oz (75th %) she's 29.5" tall (50th %) and her head circumference is 47.2 (95th %), which must be mm, right? She seems to be growing right on track from her previous measurements. Her head is still large, again it must be that BIG brain! :) She has nine teeth now, four on top, four on the bottom and one molar has broken through and the 3 remaining molars are about to break through as well. Madeline continues to be the MOST observant little girl, she is always checking out the happenings. She is so social and has become a big talker, she says so many words, I would say her vocabulary of words she initiates is about 15-20 words! The only signs she does now are dog and sleep, which she accompanies with gao gao for dog and night night for sleep. She loves to go places where she can meet new people, talk to and smile at them. She is crawling a lot and likes to be standing most of the time, she is doing a lot of cruising where she walks around while holding onto furniture. She is also standing without holding on to anything, but not attempting steps yet. People have said that they think she will be walking soon, we'll see. For now she seems to favor crawling as her main form of transport.
Madeline is actually becoming a little girl, it's truly bittersweet. On the one hand, I am so proud of how smart she seems to be and the growth and changes I see in her everyday, but it's also crazy to think that in one year she went from a little baby bundle completely dependent on me for everything to this little girl who is talking! People say it all of the time but really, they grow up so fast! This first year has gone by with a blink of the eye. :(

We are so blessed by everyday we have with our little Mitzy. Look out world, here she comes!

Happy 1st Birthday Madeline!

2009-06-30T10:31:00.006-05:00

Dear Madeline,

A year ago today at 5:25pm we were blessed with the sweetest little girl who has made our life so much more meaningful, YOU! It is amazing to us how fast you have grown and changed. Everyday we learn something new about you and you learn something new about the world. We feel honored to share and guide you through your life discoveries. We can't wait to see what the future brings, how you'll grow even bigger and smarter. We love you so much Madeline, our SO big one year old!

We Love You,
Mommy and Daddy

Madeline's 1st Birthday Party!

2009-06-30T09:42:00.042-05:00

Last Saturday, June 27th we had Madeline's 1st Birthday Party. It was an intimate gathering with a few local Chicago friends and their children. It was such a beautiful sunny day for a party and Madeline woke up from her nap the moment the first guests arrived. We changed her into her party dress and she was SO excited to see everyone, she was squealing with delight at the sight of all those kids in one place. The party was filled with good friends, children laughing, playing, some crying of course and fresh food. It was nice to have everyone together celebrating our little girl. Madeline was a bit confused by the cake but she sampled it and seemed to like it. After everyone left Madeline played with her new toys and when we put her down for bed, she fell asleep instantly. It really was a perfect first birthday for our Mitzy!

Early bird

2009-06-26T14:57:00.007-05:00

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday morning so we had to wake Madeline up earlier than she would get up on her own. When we went in to get her we found her like this. :) She looked so peaceful and cozy, we felt bad waking her up but she was ok with it and of course poured on the charm to everyone at the doctor's office.

Father's Day 2009

2009-06-26T10:22:00.011-05:00

the Reif pool

Jake, Grandma Strawn and Madeline

This post is coming a bit late, its been a busy week getting ready for Madeline's first birthday party, after a busy Father's Day weekend in Springfield visiting family, but all this busy has been and is so worth it. Unfortunately, as usual, I do not have the photos to truly express how wonderful our weekend was, so a few mediocre images and my words will have to do.

Last weekend Saturday we drove down to Springfield, IL to visit family and attend a wedding of one of Jake's high school friends. Its always so nice to go down there, for the obvious reasons of seeing family but it has also become the Strawn family's way to get away from the bustling city and soak up some rural country for a bit. Madeline stayed with Papa and Grandma on Saturday while Jake and I attended an enjoyable but frankly HOT outdoor wedding. Though it was very nice to get away just the 2 of us, by halfway through the night we were missing our little Mitzy and we had a BIG day planned for Sunday, Father's Day. We woke up early Sunday morning and presented Jake with his Father's Day gifts: a sandwich wrap made by Chez Sucre Chez, homemade hand print art by Madeline and a gift card. Oh and a card from Madeline featuring dogs, of course, she chose it by pointing to it and saying gao, gao (dog), her very favorite word. After a nice, lazy morning with Papa and Grandma we got ourselves ready to head over to Jacksonville, IL to swim all day in the Reif's pool. Jake's family has had a large corn farm in their family for many years, it is beautiful land. Jake's Grandma Strawn lives on one part of it which is where Papa (Jake's dad) grew up. At another end of it sits a house that Jake's dad built, complete with a pond, when Jake was a kid as a sort of vacation place. Since then Jennifer, Jake's sister, and her husband Chris bought it, added on to it, have been raising their four children Cole, Anna, Collin and Joe there and have recently added on a fantastic pool and pool house (still somewhat under construction but almost completed). So needless to say, the Reif house is a great place to hang out, especially for kids! We spent the entire day there, we ate lunch, swam, went fishing and Madeline even took a nice long nap in the midst of it all. Mitzy had the time of her life, laughing at all her cousins who she ADORES, swimming with Daddy squealing as she splashes and receiving attention from EVERYONE, her very favorite thing. We then went over to Grandma Strawn's to visit with her where Madeline crawled around played with toys and smiled, as always. When we got back to Springfield to Grandma and Papa's house Madeline was exhausted, she ate her dinner laughed hysterically at her cousin Cole and then fell asleep the instant her head touched the mattress.
We drove back to Chicago on Monday morning, the whole time talking about how nice it was to be with family, how we pay entirely too much for our little condo with a metal balcony as an outdoor space, how we'll probably never sell our place and how we wished we had a yard-the usual. :)
It was such a fantastic weekend. Madeline has the best Dad, I have the best husband and partner in raising our happy little girl. I am truly blessed!

I can't quite put my finger on it but...

2009-06-15T08:49:00.006-05:00

...I saw this living room via Design*Sponge and there is just something about it I love. Maybe it's the dominant 2-color palette, maybe its the colors themselves or maybe its just that print. What a fantastic print, I need a large scale something for our walls. I need a painting. I don't like everything about this room but there's just something about it.... Some days I feel like I need to really "finish" up our place, other days I just feel defeated and unmotivated, telling myself I'll wait until we move to a house to really do what I want with a home...silly right? I need to just make our current place into what we want especially considering that our chances of ever selling our condo are slim to NONE. Maybe this summer will bring about a fresh approach to our home. As you all know, I'll keep you posted.

It seems that Summer is here, finally

2009-06-14T22:05:00.005-05:00

We had such a wonderful Sunday. We met our friends the Scaifes (Todd, Angie and their son Ben) at our neighborhood Farmer's Market and then went to Rib Fest at Irving and Lincoln for music and lunch. Though we were only out and about from mid morning 'til mid afternoon, it was so nice to get out of the house and experience all that fantastic Chicago Summers have to offer. Madeline had so much fun smiling at everyone AND tasting her very first strawberry/banana smoothie. We are really looking forward to many more fests as a family of 3 this Summer!

Our Mitzy

2009-06-14T21:16:00.007-05:00

This is a post I've been planning to write ever since we returned from Australia but just couldn't find the time to really focus and get it done, but it's important to me so better late then never, right? It is unbelievable how much Madeline had changed while we were gone. I'd say that the biggest difference was her moving around. When we left she was slowly doing the army crawl. When we returned she was pulling up on everything and crawling on all fours and she was getting into EVERYTHING everywhere. Now she is even more active and agile and it's only been a couple weeks from when we returned. Remember this post when I was worried about her not crawling yet, I now have to say again: yes you were all correct, I was worrying over nothing. It seems that admission has become a theme in motherhood for me.

Now I am warning you, before you read this next paragraph, please be advised: I am going to be that mom that is so horrid, that mom I told myself I would NEVER be, that mom everyone hates to hang out with because she acts like her kid is a genius when we all know that they are just like all the other kids her age, she just loves her kid so she thinks they're so smart. You can't say I didn't warn you.

Madeline is so smart! :) It is just awesome to me how many words she can say, and she really is saying the words, I swear. I know they are real because they are all in context and consistent. The following is the long(ish) list of words that my little 11.5 month old says, ahem:

1) dog, pronounced gao gao which she compliments with the sign for dog (this is by far her favorite word, she points out dogs when we see them out and about, on tv, in books etc.)
2) hi, complimented by a wave
3) hello, pronounced hi-llo, complimented by a wave
4) bye bye, also complimented by the same wave
5) banana, pronounced na na
6) night night
7) no
8) more, pronounced mour
9) dada
10) mama
11) up

And, if I ask her to say most anything (for example hat and apple) she will repeat it and often it is right on, she just hasn't retained all of those words yet in order to initiate them herself. Oh, and we have this book "No David!" in which the entire book is a mom telling her son David no, and Madeline yells No David along with his mom every time we read the book. I know there are other smart feats I am forgetting, but for now I'm sure this is plenty to engage your gag reflex.

Ok so I've done it, I've gotten all that horrid mom side of me out, I cringe that I just typed all of that, so presumptuous and braggy of me, right? Well, I did write it and I will own this, think what you must but this is my blog and my place to write about my daughter. I want all of the above information to be in her first year book I'll be printing in a few weeks. Then when she reads it years from now she can be reminded of how smart she is and how much her mom and dad truly love her and how proud we are to have her as our daughter. We love you Madeline, you amaze us everyday.

The trials and tribulations of a CSA newbie

2009-06-12T10:41:00.016-05:00

As you may have learned from a previous post, we are participating in a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) with the farm Genesis Growers. When we decided to start this, I knew that what and how we ate would change a bit. We received our first box of produce last week Wednesday. It consisted of the following: kale, rhubarb, purple asparagus, strawberries, fresh thyme, spinach and a mescaline salad mix. So here are the facts: (1) I had never tasted kale or knew what to do with it (2) Rhubarb, I don't eat sweets so the non-sweet recipes were limited (3) fresh thyme, I had never really cooked with herbs, unless of course Black's Magic and Tony Chachere's count and I don't think they do. :) Now the spinach, salad mix and strawberries were easy and they got eaten up within the first 2 days. But the rest I needed to do some planning.

For my first endeavor I took the advice of Vicki, the farmer at Genesis Growers. She recommended, because the kale was small, making kale chips:

shake the kale leaves in a bit of olive oil
place them on a baking sheet
sprinkle with an herb seasoning (enter Black's Magic, hee hee)
bake at 350 until just crunchy

THE RESULT: Well, I put too much Black's Magic on them, so they were a bit salty. They would've been better with less seasoning and probably less olive oil as well. I know that now so if I get the chance to make them again, I'll do better I promise. :)

Next I decided to tackle using the thyme, I found this great recipe for thyme chicken and then steamed the purple asparagus for a side dish. I only used about 9 sprigs of the fresh thyme, so I hung the rest upside down for drying, now I can use it in the future.
THE RESULT: This actually came out VERY well, the chicken was wonderfully tender with the perfect infusion of lemon and thyme flavoring. The only mistake I made was cooking TWO whole chickens. I should have just cooked ONE and halved the ingredients. In addition, it turned out that the indicated cook time wasn't enough. Maybe its our oven, but we had to cook them for a 1/2 hour more.

My final and most challenging feat was still to come, what to do with the rhubarb? I had been scouring the web for a sugar free recipe for strawberry rhubarb jam, sweetened with 100% fruit juice only. I found several places where it was sold but not any recipes. So I asked my friend, who is and has been for awhile a part of a CSA program in Kansas City, for some suggestions. She directed me to a recipe she found but had never tried herself. Boy oh boy if I was intimidated by using the thyme, I was really about to be out of my element with this recipe. So with ingredient list and Madeline in tow, I headed over to Whole Foods. It took me a long time to locate all of the ingredients but friendly help from the Whole Foods staff, I gathered everything I needed and learned a lot in the process. Plus Mitzy and I had lunch at the salad bar where she made fast friends with the Sushi Chefs, the Deli attendant and really anyone who would talk to her, to whom she'd greet with a smile, wave and "Hi-llo".

THE RESULT: To be honest, making the stew was not difficult at all, in fact you may even call it easy. All you have to do is mix all of the ingredients together and simmer for a long time. The taste was, well, interesting. I liked it but it needed something, honestly it needed meat (sorry to my vegetarian friends). Once I added some of the chicken I had fixed a couple days prior it was much better. In fact I think that beef would really be good in it. So if I make this in the future, that's what I'll do, add some meat.

I got MORE rhubarb in my CSA box this week, so I think I will be attempting some sugar free strawberry rhubarb jam via my friend's recipe. I'll let you know how it goes. Yes, I'm canning now, can you believe this??? HA

Australia Trip

2009-06-08T15:29:00.018-05:00

After a week of getting back in to the swing of things, I am finally able to wrap my mind around posting about our trip. Well, let me just say, in general it was fantastic! I was very worried about missing Madeline, and I did miss her, but it was also very nice to spend a good amount of time with it being just Jake and I. We started out in Sydney and stayed there for 4 days. We loved it! First of all its beautiful: the harbor, the Opera house, the lush botanical gardens and the very unique almost French Quarteresque homes. We found that the country in general had a very American semblance to it but with more Euro style and UK customs, I felt very comfortable with it all. While in Sydney we did a lot of walking, exploring neighborhoods, the Australia Museum and the harbor. We took several boat trips, the best being the Harbor Cruise which was full of very informative commentary on the history of Sydney, oh and where people like Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman and Russell Crow have homes, you know the important tid bits. :) We also took a day tour with 2 other couples and a guide into the Blue Mountains, a beautiful mountain range 2 hrs. from Sydney, it was a bit rainy that day but still very beautiful. That was the day we saw our fist bit of wildlife, both in captivity and in the wild. I touched a koala, so soft, and we also saw group of wild kangaroos out in a field.

From Sydney, we took a flight to Brisbane, the 3rd largest city in Australia. We were not super impressed with Brisbane, honestly it reminded Jake of St. Louis. Not that there's anything wrong with St. Louis, I'm just sayin', you know, not that notable or interesting. But the best part of the time we spent in Brisbane was our boat ride down the Brisbane River to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. The Sanctuary was so neat, we literally walked into a field where kangaroos where just running free and you could feed them by hand. They were seriously like domesticated dogs, there were children that were literally climbing on them and they were completely chill about it all. Of course I'm sure they have grown up in captivity so it's all they know, but still it was a really cool experience.

After Brisbane, we drove, yes I said drove (0n the left side of the road) to Noosa, a beautiful beach community, just north of Brisbane. The driving was a whole disconcerting wrench thrown into the mix. Of course it took a bit of time to feel comfortable with it, but by the end of the trip, Jake was a real pro. Noosa is gorgeous and has really great shopping. I could do an entire post about stores I experienced in Australia but I won't. If anyone is planning a trip to Australia anytime soon, I'll fill you in on my retail finds. But I will mention one little store I came across in Noosa. It was a very small store called Soul Sanctuary, it was half women's clothing and half children's clothing. I met the owner of the store who designed a lot of the clothes that she carried. And then a lot of the other brands were locally designed, I was able to get some adorable clothes for Madeline that were all handmade by local designers. It's very important to me to support handmade and local here in the U.S., so to be able to do that down under as well was just perfect.
As I wrap up this post there are so many other amazing things we experienced that are running through my head but there's too many to mention all here. I think that the things we saw, learned and experienced on this trip will influence me in the future, so you may just hear about it little by little in future posts. I will say one final thing, I could live in Sydney and not get nearly as homesick for the states as I would other places, its a fantastic city and I highly recommend experiencing it at least once, we plan to hopefully go back someday.

We're back from Australia...

2009-06-01T14:59:00.006-05:00

...stay tuned for a post about our trip! Needless to say, Madeline has become 5 times more active than she was when we left. Lordy, uh no worries about the crawling thing, the kid is practically walking!! We missed her so much and were SO happy to see her, now if I could just get over this jet lag and get to the chiropractor, things would be just perfect.

I did get my new collages up at my Etsy store today so check them all out by clicking here. You can also find them at Beulah's in Fredericksburg, Texas if anyone is in that area, especially if you like the cowboy (or girl) boot featured above, I did this collage exclusively for Beulah's so you'll only find it there.

Bittersweet

2009-05-11T13:39:00.005-05:00

We only have 6 more days 'til we leave on our 2 week trip to Australia and I'm definitely filled with mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm pumped! I mean really 2 weeks in Australia? It's so exciting and I am really looking forward to zero responsibility and complete relaxation with my awesome husband. But, on the other I am really getting nervous and sad about being away from Madeline for so long. I have not been away from her for more than a day since she was born, and I have never been away from her over night. My parents are coming up to Chicago to stay with Mitzy for the first week and Jake's parents will be here the second week so it's the perfect situation for her, 2 weeks with her grandparents will be fantastic. I just hope it all works out well, it's hard to give up control when I've always been the one there with her. But I will and must give up control, all will be fine, Madeline will have so much fun bonding and playing with her grandparents and I will have so much fun trekking around Australia. Then in 2 weeks we'll come home, she'll be so happy to see us and we'll all be better for having the experiences, right? Right. I hope.

Being A Mom

2009-05-11T12:49:00.005-05:00

As you are all aware, it was Mother's Day yesterday, it was also my first Mother's Day. It really had me reflecting on being a mom and all of the moms I know. Before I was blessed with Madeline in my life, I definitely respected all the moms I knew. I believed that it was a tough job and they deserved praise for all of the hard work and sacrifice. BUT now that I am a mom myself, I look at it so differently. Motherhood changed me. Songs on the radio and stories (real or fiction) of children being neglected or abused make me cry in an instant. I find other people's children to be cute and/or funny which was not normally the case prior to motherhood. I am also so much more understanding of others, especially other moms. My own mother for example. I was blessed with a wonderful mom who has always celebrated my talents and respected my privacy, trying herself to walk the balancing act of being there for her child and also staying out of their business. I find myself seeing her reactions to things differently by looking at them through a mother's eyes, because they ARE different eyes to look through. I also try and put myself in her shoes and think, how would I want Madeline to treat me in this scenario. It's also with other moms, both friends and strangers. Like when I see a mom in Target who is frustrated with her child and is maybe a bit gruff with them, I don't instantly judge as I used to saying, "I'll never do that when I am a mom!" Because you know what, maybe I will and probably I will. Motherhood is such an emotional job. Here is this child that is literally an extension of yourself, that you love more than anything in this world, but they are truly there own person. They have their own ideas and thoughts, yet it is your responsibility to lead them into good behavior and good judgement while helping them keep their own sense of self along the way. It's a difficult task, especially when it is so closely tied to a love so strong you didn't even know it existed till that little human bundle was placed in your arms. At that moment I was scared to death of the responsibility and yet wouldn't trade it for the world. When Madeline was first born I often reflected on what parenting was like, comparing it to the corporate work world: It's like having the most difficult job both emotionally and physically, going into it without any formal training, and continuing to receive poor reviews from the boss (Madeline) yet you actually LOVE your job, what? It doesn't make sense does it? I guess that's what it all comes down to, it doesn't make sense, motherhood just IS and my life is so much better because of it.

Pete and Mabel

2009-04-29T17:05:00.006-05:00

I opened another Etsy shop, now you may be asking "Are you insane?!" And the answer to that is YES! I am completely insane, let's see now I have a 10 month old baby, a 20hr/week freelance product design job and NOW I have 2, yes 2 "start-up companies", INSANE! But, I decided when I quit my full time job that I would put the energy into doing the things I love in the hope that one day I would be able to make money doing it full time. All insanity aside let me tell you about my new shop.

The name is Pete & Mabel. The store consists of kid-focused original collages made with fine papers from all over the world, applied to watercolor painted canvas and then accented with hand-illustration. Currently I only have three 8"x10" pieces in the shop BUT I've got some big stuff coming up. Over the next couple weeks, before we leave for Australia, I will be very busy making a lot more pieces. There is a FANTASTIC children's clothing and accessory store, Beulah's in Fredericksburg, Texas, where I will be selling my collages. I will post more images and progress on all of the new pieces over at my illustration blog. So keep up with me and if you're in the Fredericksburg area, please be sure to check them out in person, wish me luck!!

Effortless chic

2009-04-24T09:30:00.009-05:00

I always notice the way people put together a kids room for two considering the inevitability of this at our abode. So when I saw these room images I had to share them. Lately I have really been moving toward a more effortless look for our place, for many reasons really but mainly for making it personal and quite frankly, out of necessity. It seems that if I just decorate on the principle of what I like and the unexpected comfortable, it will all turn out in the end as reflecting us as a family. Also it really seems easier, the clutter/kid gear(within reason of course) will add character and warmth, an excuse for being over run by "stuff" I suppose, but hey it's a legitimate rationalization if you ask me! Here are a few of my favorite images from the house featured, you can go here to see the full post and more images.

It's Earth Day

2009-04-22T01:02:00.004-05:00

all photos by Ishiro Kichimi

Please ask yourself the following question:

Are the decisions I make today and everyday going to make as little impact on the Earth as possible?

There are many simple and easy changes that can be made to how we live that will yield a huge difference. Please join me, starting today, in doing things differently. Thank you.

Paper Dolls!!!!-well kind of...and more cute shoes

2009-04-17T10:31:00.008-05:00

When I was a little girl I LOVED paper dolls, any kind really, whether they were pre-printed in a book and just needed to be cut out or were personally created by moi. When visiting my grandparents, I'd peruse my grandma's Sears and JCPenney catalogs for HOURS cutting out families, extended families and all of their home furnishings, building communities of paper. At home I would draw my own paper dolls and fixins. I loved these paper worlds and now often think about how I could incorporate them into my art. So when I saw this book above I thought, "Oh if they had had that when I was little, I would have been begging my parents for it!" These Rosie Flo's coloring books leave space for drawing the faces, arms and legs, so neat! This one I have pictured above is only one of the many different themed Rosie Flo books out there, these are definitely something I will get for M when she gets older! You can learn all about them and find a retailer in your area right here.
And now to shoes, ok I must say that I think I am addicted to baby girl shoes! Madeline has way too many for me to even admit online so I won't, but she has, dare I say, too many for a 9 1/2 month old baby. BUT, I saw these cute and relatively affordable high tops by KEEP pictured below and I couldn't resist sharing them! I found them at the Sweet William online store. And by the way, there are a lot of cute things there, so definitely check out the entire site.

Blogging=MIA

2009-04-17T10:28:00.004-05:00

I am perfectly aware that I have been completely MIA when it comes to blogging lately. After some recent posts by my fellow blogger friends Jordan and Cassell, I felt that that I should do some explaining...I have been extremely busy lately, between my 2 jobs and taking care of Mitzy, there doesn't seem much time for much else. Usually when the guilt starts to bubble up about not blogging it centers around Madeline. I started this mainly because I wasn't going to do a traditional baby book and was planning on documenting all of M's first year here. After blogging for a while, it has evolved into much more than just M's virtual baby book. Recently my friend Cassell said it perfectly so, with her permission, I decided to share how she described what blogging does for her (me):

Let me share one more thought before I call it a night. Blogging is fantastic. I mean, where else can a person vent and whine to their heart's content, without ever having to worry about annoying their audience, because if they are truly annoyed, they'll quit reading it. Comments from readers are a fun surprise and often provide well-meaning encouragement and advice. And if ever a spoilsport drops a negative line, the blogger always gets the last word, with the power of the delete key. Putting yourself out there, emotionally, to the world, via the Worldwide Web, is liberating and satisfying. And then, of course, there is the benefit of journaling and documenting life's daily occurrences, which mundane as they may be, are still our own histories in the making. I like to think that this blog will be an entertaining read as I grow older and wiser and can look back and laugh. And for my children, this blog will serve as a collection of family memories more detailed, personal, and real than any baby book or fill-in-the-blank journal could ever be. So that's what this is all about, dear readers. Love this blog or leave it. I'll never know the difference. Blogging's a beautiful, therapeutic thing. And I highly recommend it!

Everything she just said sums it up for me, so now when I don't blog it also deprives me of my own 21st century therapy. With that said, I really need to be posting more photos of M, heck I need to be taking more photos of M! Stay tuned for another post all about her and this last week.

Oh How She Grows-9 months

2009-04-17T10:26:00.007-05:00

Madeline was 9 months old on March 30th and on Tuesday, April 7th we went to her 9 month doctor's appointment. She now weighs 18lbs, 8oz. I forgot to ask them to write down all of her measurements (weight/head/length), which is about right for how I have been as a mom lately (forgetful and scattered) so I don't remember those stats exactly, but I do know the following: She is in the 50th percentile for weight and height, and in the 90th for head! Looks like that brain is really getting BIG, must be all that reading we do! :) She has four, count 'em, FOUR teeth now. Her 2 top teeth came in recently and they are big ol' chompers, so cute. Madeline is the MOST observant little girl, nothing gets past her. When we go to a restaurant she spends the entire time checking out all the goings on, especially the wait staff, they are VERY interesting. She continues to be very social, easy going and smiley. She will let anyone hold her without getting upset at all. We have noticed that there are now times when she can get startled or nervous about things, usually when she has just woken up and a new, busy environment is sprung upon her, but with a bit of quiet talk and explanation she calms down and is fine. Speaking of that growing brain, Madeline now says Momma and Dadda, she also says nana (banana, her FAVORITE). She has also started doing some signs, her first was "all done" and now she is doing "more" as well. It is so cool to see her sign and REALLY communicate with us. Oh and she will also wave goodbye. So needless to say she is quite the cerebral child, now I'll use that as a segway to my next comments- Madeline is not crawling. Yes, I know, "no big deal" , "some kids go straight to walking", "she's still so young", "one day you will just look down and there she'll be crawling from one room to the next". Have I covered them all? Well, yes, I know all of this. I am also aware that a year from now, when she crawled won't even cross my mind or matter BUT today I get all worried about her, like, is she physically strong enough or is she just uncoordinated? I feel I did everything right for her...tummy time? Oh I was a tummy time terror, she was ALWAYS on tummy time, from birth. So there's my crazy Mom-worrying stream of consciousness, just felt good to get it out. Thanks.

Madeline is awesome, that's all I can say...smart, observant, she baits me with toys to get me involved, she meows at her stuffed kitty cat, she talks to her Minnie Mouse doll (I make it talk all the time, so now she does) and there are many other little funny things she does. She's growing up and I am loving every minute of it. Books are her favorite and Daddy is fun, that sums it up. Can't wait to see what the next 3 months brings, I assume it will bring crawling. :)

Separation Anxiety, well for me at least

2009-04-17T10:25:00.010-05:00

Madeline standing at her crib, her very favorite thing to do!

This past week was Madeline's first Tuesday and Thursday to stay with our friends Heidi and Vance while I worked and I was nervous. The week prior I had taken M over there for naps and stuck around til she woke up, you know just to get her a bit more familiar with her surroundings before leaving her for an extended period of time. So this past Tuesday I got up early. I got myself and all of her food, bottles, blankies, books and diapers ready and we went over there at 8:30am, just in time for her first nap of the day. She seemed fine right away, she knows Heidi, likes Vance and thinks their dogs are funny. I had meetings planned out at the offices of the company I do freelance pd for so I headed straight out to the suburbs. Before I had even gotten out of the Chicago city limits I received a text from Heidi saying Madeline had gone to sleep, good news! I felt at ease. I had all my meetings and when it was time to leave and go get M, I was literally giddy with excitement, I was smiling and couldn't wait to see my little girl! I got to Heidi's at around 2:30 and when they came to the door, I must have had a HUGE smile on my face, but Madeline, not so much. I mean she was smiling at me and all, but like she would any old stranger. She didn't reach for me or anything, it was if she was saying, "Hi, welcome to my new home, this is my new mommy Heidi and my new brother Vance is asleep upstairs, he's real tired after all day playing with me." What??? No squeals of delight? No crying for mommy? My ego and heart was bruised for sure! I should be happy, happy that there were no issues, happy that the transition went smoothly, and of course I am happy about all of that, but it would've been nice to have had a little reaction?! Regardless, we headed home, she slept for like 2.5hrs when we got home (I guess she only took 40min naps that day) and I was much more relaxed for her going over there on Thursday.
Thursday came, I got up, got everything ready and had her over there around 9am. Again, she was fine, happy to see Heidi, thinking the dogs were funny etc. I got a couple orders for some prints so I needed to get some packing supplies so that I could take them to the post office. Then I went home and was able to get so much accomplished, I seriously felt like a free woman, no worries about when M would wake up, I answered so many emails, worked of some new product designs, and then I started preparing the prints for shipping. I cut the prints themselves with my xacto and then proceeded to start cutting the thicker board for packing. I started to make the first cut, the xacto slipped and I sliced my right pointer finger-BAD. I mean REAL BAD. Like a chunk out of the side of my finger. The moment I did it I knew it was not good and it would require an ER visit. It was around 1:30pm when it happened and I needed to pick up Madeline at around 3pm. I called Jake, told him what happened and told him he would need to pick up M. I was trying to think straight and decide what to do myself like what ER to go to, but honestly it was a bit difficult, there was a lot of bleeding and I was a bit shaky. Jake said he would come home and take me. So, I called Heidi, told her the situation, told her we may be a bit late, of course she was awesome about it and understood. We went to the ER, I didn't get stitches because as the doctor said "the cut is too deep so the flap of skin is dead and its not good to stitch dead skin to live skin". So they bandaged me up, gave me a tetanus shot and we went and got Madeline. This time she was a bit more excited, but really I think it was because Jake was with me...
Moral of the story, I'm a basket case and my daughter is a cool cucumber who has to put up with her neurotic mother, jeesh.

Thank you Heidi for being so good to my daughter!!

Easter

2009-04-15T21:05:00.006-05:00

Pastor Busboom, Pastor Olsen, Jake, Madeline, Me, Aunt Ashley and Aunt Jennifer

Madeline with her Great Grandma Strawn & Great Grandma Scott

We had a very full Easter weekend, this was Madeline's first Easter and a very special one for her, she was baptized on Saturday. We traveled to Springfield where Jake's family lives and she was baptized in their church, St. John's Lutheran Church. My parents, sister and cousin Mather drove in from Kansas to be there too. We had asked my sister Ashley and Jake's sister Jennifer (Madeline's aunts) to be Madeline's Godmothers. We couldn't think of two better people to sponsor Madeline, both will be able to lead her by example. I already see how each of them have such a special relationship with M, it makes me feel so good to know that she has two strong women that she will always be able to turn to for advice and care.

Side note, I'm not pregnant, I promise. The dress I was wearing is what I think would be called a babydoll dress, aka very full and can be deceivingly pregnant-esque from certain angles. Ugh, awful! Just thought I'd clarify.

The bluest eyes in Chicago

2009-04-05T10:01:00.003-05:00

I've been starting to wean Madeline, cutting out a nursing one at a time, replacing them with formula, in anticipation of my 2 weeks away from her when Jake and I go to Australia this May. It's a bit difficult but it really is cute when she holds her sippy cup full of milk. Awwwww.

Happy Birthday Jake!

2009-04-04T21:01:00.004-05:00

Today is my wonderful husband Jake's birthday. From the moment he entered my life, it changed. I became infinitely more fulfilled and complete. It's like all my life I was just waiting for the day I would meet him, my future husband. Jake is my best friend and my support. He truly loves me for me. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful person in my life, sharing my every days. When Madeline was born I was immediately impressed with his aptitude as a father, he is so loving and gentle with Madeline. I am truly blessed, thank you Jake, I love you and happy birthday.